Honestly i dont even know if i can put the things i feel at the moments in written words but i need to get them of my chest.
I hate being autistic at the moment.
I managed to build a friendgroup in the last two years, we hang out at the local hackspace, did sport together talked about emotions, cuddle etc.
I felt realy safe so I opend up, didnt mask all the time, told them how i feel when many humans are around, how i can crash when my social battery runs to low, how i make decisions, which emotions i have and which i dont, how i sometimes still struggle with being a human...
An with that parts of the group started to change, acted different around me, stoped being cuddly with me, told me that i should not come to partys because i might crash and they then dont want to care about me (they never had to before), and it just feels like i am no longer 100% welcome among some of them.
And i just hate it, i hate me, i want to undo telling them.
But i also want to belong, feel safe, not needing to mask all the time and being accepted like i am.
Was mir an dem Bild noch nie aufgefallen ist ist dass der Trennschleifer im Bild ein speziell von Husqvarna für den Schienenbau modifizierter ist. (Erkennbar am gelben Arm)
https://www.husqvarna.com/de/trennschleifer/k1270-rail-ii/ (ist das Nachfolgemodell)
Was impliziert dass es sich um einen Gleisbautrupp handelt.