overview for CackNClap

I don't think it's unreasonable to have the concerns you have at the moment, but it sounds like you've already weighed the pros and cons and made your decision re: surgery and it seems like a reasonable decision to me. It's just facing the uncomfortable reality of it that you have to brace yourself for now. I think the vulnerability will be your actual biggest discomfort.

I've had a few surgeries and the only thing I feel you might dislike physically is the needle they put in the back of your hand to feed the anaesthetic etc into. It's really only a slight sting but I find it unpleasant - certainly not any kind of "hitting" sensation like your ear situation. I only tell you this so you know what to expect.

There's really only a short period after surgery where you might (and maybe won't at all!) say something nonsensical, but it's usually dreamlike nonsense (not confessions of inner secrets!). Your parents/other half have probably heard you talk in your sleep already - maybe that's an easier way to think about it.

Regarding the coddling: Perhaps some pre-prepared responses could help keep it to a minimum, reassure people (who sound like they care which is nice), and make them feel useful at the same time. Some suggestions/prompts:

Thanks (person), I'm actually quite tired at the moment, can you make sure there's some water and (drugs) nearby and give me a call at (insert much later time) if I'm not up by then please?
I'm a bit tender at the moment but I think it's healing well enough, it probably looks worse than it is, don't worry!
I've got everything I need here but thanks for checking in.
You know what, I would actually love some (ice cream, soup, whatever believable post-surgery food). If you're in the store could you grab me some please?
Sorry I have a bit of a short fuse at the moment, it's just the (pain/meds) making me grouchy. Thanks for caring, I think i just need a bit of rest for now.

These are all dismissive though, don't be too proud to ask for help if you have any concerns while you're healing! And good luck, I hope the surgery brings you immense relief!

Edit: formatting

All aboard the Dysphoria train in c/translater@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[–] CackNClap@infosec.pub 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Don't be too disheartened, makeup really does sit differently on different people and there are specific techniques your wife probably hasn't needed to be aware of. I (AFAB-woman) noticed when I put my makeup over a friend's (AMAB-TBD) shaved face it looked surprisingly different and I had to make it darker in those areas to blend with the cheeks and forehead. That made a huge difference and that was without even looking up a tutorial. Also eye primer will do wonders for how that makeup sits. There's a lot of frustrating trial and error that I'm sure dysphoria will not help, don't lose hope immediately!