this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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Black people receive a lot of flack for publicly wearing bonnets, so I don't want to be insensitive. I have severe sensory issues and things like satin, silk, etc are the only safe materials for my head.

Edit: will wear something different. I am just doing my best to not be culturally insensitive. I will look for a different style of hats; this question is about appropriation.

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[–] dumples@piefed.social 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bonnet Baby

This kind of bonnet? I think you can do it

[–] LotusNightSky@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Idl what that type of bonnet is technically called.

[–] dumples@piefed.social 2 points 2 weeks ago

I'm going to guess baby bonnet?

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

IMO, it’s only cultural appropriation if you’re making a shit ton of money off of something you copied from another culture, while the people from that culture that are involved with thing aren’t.

People who get pissed at White people for having dreads are idiots. Same for a Mexican wearing a kilt. Grow up and let people dress how they want.

If you like it, wear a bonnet.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

it’s only cultural appropriation if you’re making a shit ton of money off of something you copied from another culture

Or something that is ceremonial and is being used out of context is a common complaint. Tho most traditional clothing also has a party associated with it, so really just make a good judgement.

[–] anarcho_vroom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Black people don't own bonnets (as a concept)...I think you're fine.

[–] Hellishtoad@infosec.pub 3 points 2 weeks ago

I think they’re meaning those silly shower cap thingies.

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 18 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Interestingly one of the few times I ever got pulled over was when I was on my way back from helping someone with yardwork and had my hair bundled up in a scarf so it didn't get nasty. It was so weird the cop actually apologized for pulling me over then drove off really suddenly. I definitely grew up in one of 'those' areas so I think he really did pull me over and was like 'wait shit you're white abort ABORT' which is so funny because like. I just do what works culture means very little to me.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 weeks ago

White dad with a black daughter here--you should be fine, but if you're concerned, read up or watch videos to understand bonnets in black culture so that you can speak to it if someone ever brings it up. A simple, "yeah I don't have textured hair, it's a sensory thing for me" should clarify any confusion.

[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

That you even feel the need to ask this is absolute insanity.

[–] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I get the impression the threadiverse is a very white space and to me, white people's opinion on what feels appropriative seems unlikely to have as much perspective as you might want if the question matters to you. If there are folks you're close with who it'd make sense to ask and are black, they might be a better crowd to ask. Or even a different part of the internet.

I think in general when you're wondering how people feel about something you need to talk to the affected people. Thats easiest when you have relationships where you know thats welcome, or if you go to a space where it is actively invited.

Maybe the folks answering are giving good answers rooted in perspective though- as some random white guy I wouldn't know short of asking someone else. Honestly my read on the demographics of the platform could be off too. Being that it's a somewhat anonymous feeling version of social media you don't have a great sense for who's answering your post and what kind of perspective they're speaking from 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] Krusty@quokk.au 8 points 2 weeks ago

Oh. This is no stupid questions. FML. I'll save my jokes.

No. It's not offensive.

[–] MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] LotusNightSky@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

A deerstalker with the flaps down?

Or one of those Russian hats?

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago

A ushanka I think you mean, they're fab

[–] starlinguk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Most hijabis would be fine with that!

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

What's the difference? Both are just head coverings...

[–] Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org 6 points 2 weeks ago

The racism doesn't happen on your head.

The racism happens when you make such decisions in your questions and statements:

"me ... a white person"

[–] Dookieman12@piefed.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

Do you and what's best for your health. You can't please everyone. When it comes to some things, if people can't understand, it's their problem, not yours.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I... don't understand the question as a concept to start with. Can you explain more of what you mean?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

The thing on this woman's head:

They're a hair care thing particularly for the kind of hair POC have. OP is asking if it would be like cultural appropriation or offensive to wear one as a white person.

[–] remon@ani.social 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Bonnets have nothing to do with POC.

[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] anarcho_vroom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Its not a POC thing, though. It's a people who need to protect their hair thing. POC tend to have kinky hair that needs protecting.

I think we're all over thinking this.

[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 weeks ago

That doesn't seem to matter when culture is being claimed.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

THANK YOU. I'm an old white guy and I did not know what they were referring to, and this helps immensely.

[–] fratermus@piefed.social 1 points 2 weeks ago

I was imagining a Little House on the Prairie bonnet.

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonnet_(headgear) i was picturing the lady in the first picture, but futher searching revealed i was wrong. Hope some other people understand the situation more for you.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

This should be higher

[–] swelter_spark@reddthat.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

I usually have my hair wrapped when I go outside after washing it. Never met anyone who cared.

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

It's more of an European middle ages thing I guess? So no, it wouldn't be "cultural insensitive". Or I'm thinking about the wrong headgear.

[–] remon@ani.social 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's fine as long as it has a floral pattern and you swear on it when threatening people.

[–] JoeTheSane@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I see what you did there!

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

you should do what you want. I like hoodies and it annoyed me so much it was a gang banger type clothing trope.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 points 2 weeks ago

When it became a thing that gangbangers wear hoodies, my nerdy white, theater kid son was in high school, and wore a black hoodie every day. The only gang that might have wanted him would have been an improv group.

It was a good opportunity to teach him about the Conservative Propaganda Machine.

[–] Melobol@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 weeks ago

I don't see problem wearing that kinda showercap looking bonnets - but I would definitely look for different styles for myself. Because I don't care for that look, and not because I think it is racially patented.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

I use a bonnet 🤷

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

There's probably a good chance you would come of as more mocking than quirky tbh. It's not like it's illegal though. I'm guessing you mean the shower headcap looking thing?

[–] LotusNightSky@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yeah, something like that. I usually just wear the ones that look more like hats like these ones, though

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Ya, those look fine to be honest. I wouldn't worry about it.