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Reuse of the upper stage is probably a dead end. It doesn't really make sense to bring all that weight to orbit and then try to bring it back. Maybe it would make sense to salvage the engines and return them in bulk for refurbishing, but even that is doubtful.
That said, the most likely solution to the heatshield issue is a liquid, gel like heatshield that gets shed on reentry and can be easily refilled.
They did explore a transpiration heat shield, but ran away from the complexity.
I'm hoping the Stoke Nova upper stage aerospike heat shield works out. I really enjoy that solution.
I mean manned missions it will have to come back.
No need to bring a whole spaceship back from orbit for that. A capsule like crew-dragon that can be refurbished for multiple uses is perfectly fine and can be used as an emergency escape vehicle as well.
feels like then the next most obvious thing is to make the ship connectable so that over time you could sorta gather them into a space station.
The scifi part of my brain wants SpaceX to leave some old Starships in orbit to sell to space station or space tug/depot companies to refit, or mfg companies to scrap. There's no way any of those uses make sense anytime soon, though.
I am once again asking for disposable "traditional" upper stages that don't need heat shields, flaps, or header tanks.
ngl in the long term it might cooked be if someone can make nuclear powered rockets. by long term I mean in the next 10-20 years.