This is like the Cube Rule, and I’m totally here for it. We need a more advanced liquids guide, though.
this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2026
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So bubble tea is only tea on the same level as Saturn.
Two Words: Worm Tea
It's got what plants crave!
"Clogged gutter" works fantastic as a cocktail name
I mostly like these.
The Sandwich Alignment Chart is good because there are some things that might count as sandwiches in various columns:
Yeah, maybe an ice cream sandwich is a sandwich even though it doesn't use any kinds of sandwich ingredients. Maybe a chicken wrap is a sandwich even though it's tube shaped -- it does use standard sandwich ingredients. And, once you accept those, then maybe a pop-tart is a sandwich.
But, for these to work, the cells that are one step away from the pure definition need to be somewhat reasonable, and I don't know anybody who thinks that coffee is a form of tea. Also, pho doesn't meet the preparation purist definition -- you're not boiling beef to extract its flavour. Miso soup also doesn't meet its definitions, miso broth maybe...
Ignoring the "powder" part of the preparation neutral:
| | Ingredient Purist | Ingredient Neutral | Ingredient Rebel | |
|
|
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| | Preparation Purist | Black tea is tea | Herbal tea is tea | Chicken broth is tea | | Preparation Neutral | Matcha is tea | Hot chocolate is tea | Clam chowder is tea | | Preparation Rebel | Arizona Iced Tea is tea | A bowl of Captain Crunch is tea | Saturn is tea |
You could do this with cider.
e.g. cider is cider, apple juice is cider, perry is cider…
By the definitions on this very chart, traditional black tea should be "ingredient purist, preparation rebel" (you don't boil tea)
depends on your definition of boiling. if someone's using fahrenheit and they boil something at 100 degrees that's only 32 celsius instead of 700
No
ROFL thank you this comment gave me life.
Boil has a meaning goddammit :p
I would hate to eat that dude's boiled potatoes.
you cant boil potatoes they arent liquid
Have you ever tried to understand a simple thing and come out far less intelligent than before. Things like this convince me that the tombs of pharoahs are full of inside jokes we're all missing.
All tea tastes like a clogged gutter.
I’ll just have to take your word on that.
Add some milk and sugar
Sweet, creamy, clogged gutter.
WOW. I mean... WOW. Never have I been so offended in my life smh
*Tsk-ing intensifies
Amen. Leaves have no place in tea. I'm not a damn boll weevil.
Actual tea purists typically insist that it has to be tea leaves, as opposed to all the herbal "teas" that are often made from boiled leaves, too ...
In Spain fruit teas are called infusions, so they're actually better at this distinction than the English!
To me, tea is assumed to be primarily Camellia sinensis unless indicated otherwise.
I'm more of a tea rebel. I prefer tea made without tea leaves. Kraft macaroni isn't my favorite thing in the world, but I'll take it over boring black tea any day of the week.
Have you had broken orange pecoe from Sri Lanka ? it tastes better than a filet mignon
Kraft dinner is a tea if you strain out the noodles and only use pasta water.
That coffee bean tea sounds mighty good right about now ...
Though once in a while I like a high quality black tea as a break from coffee. Good palate cleanser.
To each their own! I just like something to chew on in my tea.
Vegetable matter boiled in water. Seems pretty sttraightforward.