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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

236

Anon is stoned (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 70 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I worked as a delivery driver for a pizza chain for a while. That wouldn't even count as unusual for the driver.

[–] preussischblau@lemmy.ca 38 points 3 months ago

Thank you for your service.

[–] dmention7@midwest.social 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Those were my favorite deliveries back in the day!

Funniest one was while shadowing another driver during my first couple days. College kid blazed out of his mind opens the door, and was utterly unable to process the fact that there were two pizza delivery guys standing there. He kept nervously glancing back and forth at us trying to make sense of the situation.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I genuinely don’t know how to resolve situations like that. Did you guys just repeat yourselves until he finally gave you $30, or something?

[–] dmention7@midwest.social 8 points 3 months ago

Honestly, I didnt realize why he was so confused until we got back to the car, at which point we got a good laugh out of it.

The stoned customers were some of the chillest and usually tipped decently, so I didnt care to mess with them too much!

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 11 points 3 months ago

I delivered to a middle aged tweaker orgy in my early 20s. They invited me to come in; I declined. One of them called back later and asked if I was off; still declined. However, this was also not unusual.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 1 points 2 months ago

Thank you for your service.

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Most of the time the drivers were all baked, too.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

A few definitely were.

[–] Comrade_Spood@quokk.au 16 points 3 months ago

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Remember kids, getting stoned is bad. Instead, stone billionaires with stones or boulders.

[–] pticrix@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If no natural stones are available, bricks are a perfectly cromulent substitute.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

With that said "Stone is the Weapon of the Proletariat" is an awesome statue in, of all places, Moscow.

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Whatever works to inflict blunt force trauma. Sticks and stones, my friend. Sticks and stones.