this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 53 points 2 months ago

That's a pretty genius nickname.

Also, I'm sure they'll get faster.

[–] Comrade_Spood@quokk.au 42 points 2 months ago

Considering how mean I know cooks can be, anon got off easy lol

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And? They're new and that isn't what they were hired on for. Of course they're slow. The fact that that is what OOP is being teased for means that overall they're doing alright. Considering they're on 4chan they're lucky their nickname isn't bog crack or something.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Also consider that this nickname that is coming from speedy Gonzalez, Tina twitch, and meth Steve.

[–] Ironhorse4NYC@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 months ago

Anon is so socially inept, he doesnt realize that means they fuck with him

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 14 points 2 months ago

There was a guy who’s army nickname was Thrombo, because he was a slow-moving clot.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 months ago

I mean honestly, a ton of job related nicknames work this way, starting as a demeaning joke.

Take it in stride, own it, improve, and it'll be like the 300 lbs of muscle bodyguard named 'Tiny'.

[–] Chakravanti@monero.town 10 points 2 months ago

Crock pots will always make better food than a crack pot.

Well...any food at all, really.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

I only care about the food being tasty. Keep on rocking, crock pot

[–] marduk@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago

Sounds like you should set that crock pot to high ;)

[–] taygaloocat@leminal.space 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Personally I'd kill myself