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What's a weird 'Green Flag' for you? (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 months ago by prettykat@lemmy.world to c/dating@lemmy.world

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Everyone talks about red flags, but what’s a tiny thing someone does on a first date that makes you instantly like them? For me, it’s how they treat the staff or if they have a funny story about their dog.

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[–] Paragone@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago (2 children)

One time I was in a hospital, visiting a friend after an amputation, & there was a post-op nurse whose mind/meaning/presence was drenched in both yoga & meditation: it had transformed her.

That made her mind feel deeper & slightly-hypnotic for me.

Different from any mind I'd ever felt before.

That deep current in her was wonderful.

Caveat: I don't date, & wouldn't inflict me on anybody, ever.

Not a fair relationship ( I'm an autistic blockhead, addicted to meditations, insights & understandings, not people ).

But if you ever come across such a someone, if that is what your senses are giving you, then you aren't alone:

others have perceived that same inner-wealth in someone, too.

_ /\ _

[–] prettykat@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

Wow, what a vivid description. As an artist, I totally get what you mean about being drawn to a certain 'presence' or depth in someone. And hey, don't be so hard on yourself! Being into insights and meditation isn't a bad thing, it just means you have a world of your own. Thanks for the thoughtful addition to the post!

[–] prettykat@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

Also, that was such a beautiful way to describe someone. It’s rare to meet people who have that kind of 'stillness' about them, especially in a place as chaotic as a hospital. Thank you for sharing that, it’s a great reminder that a 'green flag' can just be someone’s pure energy.

[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I tend to think well of people who support small business and/or they craft. Like if I were dating and she wanted to go to an independent coffee shop. Bonus if she has a MacBook; double bonus if whatever laptop is running Linux.

Edit: Lemme clarify, that sounds a bit weird at the end. I mean Windows has been complete dogshit with regards to privacy, most notably that it takes screenshots of sensitive information and saves it for AI to recall it (it's called Recall) and it's proven to be exploitable by hackers. I don't mean to say Apple is a small business, but it's cool if she uses more private tech. Apple > Microslop but Linux > Apple in those regards.

[–] prettykat@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Supporting local is definitely a must! Though I have to admit, I might fail the 'Linux' test, I'm usually more focused on my sketchbooks than my OS. But a date at an independent coffee shop sounds like the perfect vibe fr, there’s so much more character in those places! Interesting take on the tech side of things, too, it definitely shows someone who cares about the details.

[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, the computer part was more of an addendum and kinda takes away from my original vibe. Back when I was dating, a woman with any kind of computer and she knows how to use it was rare. This generation raises girls (equally as well as boys) on tablets since they're old enough to hold one up. So these days, most young women at least know their way around a computer. But when I was in high school, most people only used computers in computer class. It was almost (if not exactly) a red flag to use one by choice. This was before the Worldwide Web went mainstream in 1994. My father always had computers, my whole life. I had computers myself since 1991 or 1992 (hand-me-downs from my father, but rather than trade/sell them, he'd just give me what he no longer needed).

There was one girl I got to bring up to my room, and I had a Super NES hooked up (also) to the monitor, and we were gonna play some Nintendo, but she saw the computer and was like "forget the Nintendo, I wanna see what that computer can do." We were too young to fool around/hook up, so that was never on the table, or an interest (at least for my part), but I remember thinking she was cool. Again, this was before Yahoo and IMDb and all the "old" websites. My computer wasn't online. Most peoples' computers weren't online.

[–] prettykat@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

That story about the girl wanting to see the computer instead of the Nintendo is so wholesome! It’s wild to think that using a computer by choice was almost a 'red flag' back then. Now, it’s basically our whole lives. It sounds like you were ahead of your time with that setup! And you really are an OG of the computer world. I love that your dad just passed them down to you. It’s funny how a 'red flag' back then (being a computer geek) turned into a 'double bonus' now. Thanks for sharing that story, it’s a cool slice of history!

[–] socsa@piefed.social 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They show up in a vintage 1934 LNER A1 Class "Flying Scotsman" steam locomotive, dressed as a sexy, but period accurate Scottish locomotive engineer.

[–] prettykat@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

Haha, okay, you win! That is officially the most specific and weirdly impressive green flag I’ve ever heard. I feel like if someone actually managed to pull that off, you’d almost have to marry them on the spot just for the commitment to the bit!

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

A great dog. If someone has a well trained, we'll behaved, loving dog, that says a lot for that person.

[–] prettykat@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

Hey i have a great dog lol..