"From the Personal Office of RFK Jr."
this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2026
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Either that or all diagnosed autists got together and summoned Pluto into existence. We'll never know
I like your idea, now I believe it's what actually happened
Actually, since there was no autism before that, autism is Pluto's intentional punishment to humanity for daring to discover it. It's an attack. Commence war on Pluto.
knowledge of Pluto causes autism
This implies that Pluto is a lovecraftian entity, and that brings me much joy
Well actually. In the Lovecraft story The Whisperer in Darkness, the Eldrich beings are from the newly discovered ninth planet. So yes, it is canon to Lovecraft's work that Pluto harbours Lovecraftian horrors.
A bunch of obsessives scouring the sky for additional planets probably had nothing to do with it.
Unfortunately the attempt to cure autism by demoting pluto from planet to dwarf planet has failed.
Don't joke about this. If Trump or one of his goblins sees it, they'll do something about it.
The plutussy is too far to grab
Send all the nukes to Pluto
GOOD
Ackshually Pluto is not a planet so it can't cause autism
Also: more than 99.9654% of autists live on earth. Is that also a coincidence?
All known deaths in the universe have happened on Earth. Coincidence? I think not.
Wait, that's the planet I'm on
chuckle I'm in danger
Well, there is the dog that died in space.
Pretty much.
Maybe the real truth is that autism discovered Pluto