this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2026
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[–] unknowablenight@piefed.social 2 points 1 hour ago

This would work on me.

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

This is how I imagine Teddy from Bob's Burgers would flirt online

[–] Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

I don’t usually comment but yeah, this is it.

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

This is how I imagine Teddy from Bob's Burgers would flirt online

[–] Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

I mean I do comment sometimes, and yeah, this is it.

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

What the hell!?!?

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Ladies, does this do it for you? Are you all just looking for an Onion Sack Guy and I’ve been playing it wrong this whole time?

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 5 hours ago

I'd much rather this than some bullshit negging.

I'm more of a potato gal, but I would reply to this.

[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You're focusing on the onion, but the real flex is the burlap bag. Unless she's into jute, of course.

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You bring up jute. I made a ghillie suit out of so much jute almost 15 years ago now. I still break it out for Halloween.

[–] Foreigner@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I need to know more about this ghillie suit. What was it used for? Did it work well? On a scale of warm summer breeze to satan's sphincter, how hot did it get when wearing the suit?

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Here's the suit with me posting with a paintball gun I had at the time. I made it from a set of army BDU's and some random netting I found. Laid the uniform out and cut the netting to fit on top of it. Sewed the net to the uniform and reinforced the sew points with shoe-goo. Bought I-don't-remember-how-many rolls of jute from anywhere I could find. I had a jig that I used to cut all the jute to a certain length. Would unroll an entire roll into the jig, then just cut at both ends to get me a ton of strands at roughly the right length. Used Rit dyes in various colors to dye the tan jute shades of green and brown. Then proceeded to put the strands on in a similar manner to latch-hooking. It took forever. To put it in perspective, I bought the BDU's on April 2nd, 2012. I finished the suit on Halloween of that same year.

Used for: I don't know. Acting goofy with friends, Halloween. I had ambitions of taking out paintballing and eventually hunting, but never did. Never found too many friends that wanted to paintball, and since I used a bow to hunt, the jacket would always get caught up in the jute.

Work well: I sure say it did. I would scare the shit out of trick-or-treaters.

Temperature: I prefer warmer weather anyway, but I don't have to layer at all when I take it out on Halloween.

I don't use it much anymore. One time, while my friends and I were playing Ingress (phone game that laid the groundwork for Pokemon Go), I did have someone get really mad at me because there were still some patches along the lapel. The guy acted like I was trying to "stolen valor" some shit.

I really must thank you. This was a fun trip down memory lane.

[–] Foreigner@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

Whoaaaa that is really well made!! Could have mistaken it for a professionally made suit. Thanks for sharing the story, sounds like it's served you well even if you didn't take it outdoors much in the end.

[–] Cybersec@piefed.social 5 points 1 day ago

Holy mackerel that’s a full on complete suit of it!

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

You gotta get some limes instead, but keep dropping them and apologize for dropping your limes. Then when they ask why you keep dropping limes you can say "sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes."

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Naw, you gotta tie it to your belt so she knows you're fashionable

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Maybe get a few bumblebee nickels to show you earn a good living.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

I’ve been married since the olden days so I probably don’t have the best read, but this actually seems like a legitimately good opener to me. At the very least it’s a good filtering mechanism.

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

the way this would probably work on me

[–] AzuraTheSpellkissed@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This, or demanding cat pics. Btw, how are your felines doing? :3

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)

YAAAY I GET TO DHOW OFF THE BABY!!!!!

here is the most recent photo of Dodo
(note the little heart pattern on her back, so cute!)

Here is her being evil >:)

I don't have recent photos of the other cats and I'm not home rn so I'll send ones from my families discord server

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 hour ago

that's a pretty good cat

Lovely! Thank you 😍 I've never heard of anyone having a family discord

[–] Critical_Drinking@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Somebody's gonna get cut

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 7 points 1 day ago

These are the kind of profound dating messages that have such great thought and creativity to them.

And the response, if you do get a response, is probably gonna be “🤣😂🤣 hi”.

And 99.9% of the time I would be so pissed by that. But in this case, it totally works.

Stay gold, onion boy.