this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2026
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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[–] BarbedDentalFloss@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Best I can do is drink a smoothie made from frozen berries because nothing is really in season right now

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

You just gotta work it. Treat that straw in ways that would make your parents ashamed of you.

[–] BarbedDentalFloss@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 8 months ago

By the time I'm done with that smoothie they'll wish they sent me to conversion camp

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Gets immediate brain freeze from snorting a smoothie

[–] reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net 3 points 8 months ago

Have you tried sprinkling some nutmeg in it? Game changer

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I tongue fucked an olive earlier, does that count?

[–] plm00@lemmy.ml 8 points 8 months ago

Botanically yes. Culinarily no.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago

Practice makes perfect! Mlemlemlemlem 👅🫒

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Given the state of the government and the US CDC, I’ve been eating so many onions, I have an ulcer now.

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

...battered and fried in beef tallow? :p

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Hey, I was already sensually eating junk food.

Seriously, though, I would not put it past this CDC to try to sell me some bullshit woo about how activating endorphins whilst eating fruit unlocks some quantum vitamins or something.

Am I crazy or does that sound within the realm of possibility for them?

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 4 points 8 months ago

I don't know if they'd say that specifically -- but you're not alone in having trouble telling real announcements from satire!

[–] Mrselfdestruct25@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 8 months ago

You should see me eat a banana.