this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2026
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I have no idea what there is not to understand about this...and why it's mostly men complaining about "protecting women's spaces", lol.

This might upset some people, and you know what? Good.
If this upsets you, at least the others will know and the trash can take itself out.

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[–] im_fine_sandy@nord.pub 12 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Some women feel like a female toilet is one of the very few "safe spaces" women have, and that allowing pre-op mtf transgender women negates that safe space.

In a world where women are unable to feel safe in public, it's kind of understandable why they would feel as though the one place they managed to establish must be maintained.

My personal view is, toilets and change rooms just aren't safe spaces. For men or women. Cis men get assaulted in toilets all the time. A cis male could SA a woman in a toilet. I don't think transgender people increase the risk significantly.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 week ago (3 children)

They don’t increase the risk and those women who want to gatekeep a fucking bathroom are TERFs.

Trying to keep others out of an essential public space is freakish.

[–] im_fine_sandy@nord.pub 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's is what TERF means, yes.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’m agreeing and bolstering your comment, sorry if it came off blunt and like I was correcting you!

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fuck it. The time to politely engage on this issue is long gone. Even if we come off as aggressive, the pushback needs to be extreme.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Hah oh I feel this very much - I have a reputation around Lemmy for being the meanie feminist kill joy. I just also recognize im_fine_sandy and I'm pretty sure they're an ally :)

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago

You are. And all here for it! ;)

[–] Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Feminist? Absolutely and that's a great thing. The world need waay more feminists.
Killjoy tho? Not in the slightest.

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

One of the few good things my narcissist mother did was instill strong feminist values in me from a very young age.

As a now old, I just keep getting angrier that society is backsliding on this somehow. Fucking Gilead.

[–] im_fine_sandy@nord.pub 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not sure I'm an ally but certainly not an adversary. I think I'm ambivalent but try to understand everyone's perspective.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Eh I usually recognize usernames if they are particularly ornery and so far I’ve only seen pretty chill comments from you. I’ll take not an adversary and maybe we can convert you into being an ally :)

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Feminists don't want them either

[–] architect@thelemmy.club 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Which is why they should be unisex single rooms and not weird gathering holes where everyone can hear you shit.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 5 points 1 week ago

The world is so bad, right now; it's hard to just figure out how to make it through the day. Don't take my personal audience away, too.

[–] Hexarei@beehaw.org 11 points 1 week ago

My understanding is that by going into the bathroom we only increase the risk of a trans person getting assaulted

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago

I've never felt threatened by trans men or women, they always have cautious but inherently good energy. It's always the bigots and they love projecting.