this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2026
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Come up north, we don't have any cottonmouths! Seriously the weather kind of sucks though. It's been like 60 degree high for a week and no end in sight. Fucking canada.
Ya but y'all got some scary spiders.
No poisonous spiders. None that can kill you.
Spiders are our friends besides. They kill parasites. We are in alliance with spiders, long may they live.
Black widows and brown recluses, absolutely creep and crawl around the entire East Coast of North America. Even up north well into Canada.
In this day and age, you will most likely survive a bite from either one of them, but you might lose a leg or an arm or a major organ, depending on where they bite you. Especially if it’s a brown recluse.
If you want to vomit, do a Google search for “black widow scars“ or “brown recluse scars“
Brown recluse are up here, but rare, there are no black widows in the upper midwest where I am. Fuck the East Coast, I don't give a shit what they have going on.
But the recluse spiders are way more prevalent in other places, I forget, Missouri I think has a shitolad of them, or Kansas I forget. They mind their own business though, leave them alone and they will leave you alone.
got black widows on the west coast too. Also a fun week we call "spider rain" (you get to run around screaming "i'm covered in spiders!" for fun and this time everyone believes you because they too are running around screaming "i'm covered in spiders!") but those are usually the nice spiders. just wear a hat.
we all love suzy out here
Do squirrels try to eat your hats? Because i had an incident yesterday that is turning into a song and this thread is describing it eerily well.
Doesn’t tick and moccasin country also usually feature black widows and brown recluses? The only deadly spiders in the US?
I said scary not fuck you up.
often. we have black widows, not brown recluses. i'm out by the San Francisco Bay Area in California (so like, that's a wide area. some folks out here might have brown recluses).
The biggest spiders I've seen in Minnesota are the harmless orbweavers, garden spiders, and barn spiders. The most dangerous are the Brown Recluse and Northern Black Widow, which are both extremely rare due to being at the edge of their range