this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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I don't have any kids and no complaints, but something tells me we're going to have to revisit this thought when we're above 80 years of age.
I got along with my parents really well in my 20's and 30's, and it's kinda hard watching them age now, but we got 2 good decades, maybe 3, of both generations being functional adults who love each other and enrich each other's lives.
I enjoyed being childless in my 20's and early 30's, and anticipate enjoying having 20+ year old children in my late 50's onward.
Babies and toddlers are whatever. I love my children but still don't really like other people's children. But as they (and their peers and their cousins and their friends) grow older, I can definitely see personalities form and become future adults who I will really enjoy spending time with.
My father's counterargument to my refusing to procreate is exactly this. "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?" What that told me is his main reason for having kids was to have someone do that for him. Funny, because despite having lived under the same roof, he wasn't much in my life, or has made any positive inpact on me. Everything was on mom (and sometimes grandmother). And now listening to him talk like some day I will move back to the country and abandon my entire life to take care of him/them, while right at this moment he's being extremely financially irresponsible? Cool cool cool. My partner's mother expects the same, all the while she doesn't work at all because it's beneath her.
With that said, I find having children for the sole purpose of them taking care of me in my old age not only selfish (especially with the imminent climate collapse), it's also risky (and I'm not even talking cases where the child has disabilities and can't take care of their own needs). And that's in the case I even live that long.
I'm sorry your dad's an asshole and I'm sure you can get purpose and meaning without kids.
Would you mind if I asked you about the people/things you love? On a really rough day, what gets you out of bed?
Sometimes it's a struggle for me.
I bet you're right. Im dreading when my parents get Old and need assistance. I am in no way prepared for that.
And then I'll be alone when I get old. No kids to help me then.
So umm... Not to be a downer but,
depressing stuff incoming. Don't read if you just wanna shitpost.
my mom is currently in need of assistance for basically everything rn. She has something with no cure and that will only get worse.
I'm not assisting all the time but I do get a day or two every week or two weeks. I usually tell her stories and sometimes sing to her. She's still somewhat there.. You can tell she's listening to your story because her eyes show attention on the interesting parts. She sometimes mumbles/hums to songs she knew as a kid... But she isn't fully there. She sometimes doesn't respond to any external stimuli at all, sometimes with grimaces of pain. It can get ugly... And there's also the part of her needing help with everything... Yes, everything.
I'm just gonna say, the problem isn't the ugly stuff or the gross stuff. You get past those the first few shocks. The problem is It's a battle of endurance. You have to face the death of someone you love, but they haven't died yet... So you can't really grieve, but they're not really there either so you can't really be happy. It's emotionally exhausting beyond anything I could imagine.
I only do it a few days every week or other week and come back a complete wreck.
So why do I mention this? Because after going through this for a few months, I talked about it with a friend and umm.. we made a pact. I think it might be for the benefit of both of us and those we love. The inuit / 'eskimos' had the right idea, you know? All I'm gonna say. You get the picture.
I've thought about that, because I have zero interest in putting myself or my family through that. But the hardest thing, as far as I can tell, is figuring out the point to make that decision while still having the capacity to do so. It's like playing the stock market and watching number go up, and knowing when to sell before it tanks. I don't want to miss out on valuable time, but I also don't to go too long and miss out on the opportunity to end on my own terms.
Yeah, good point. No easy solutions tbh.
Thank you for sharing. That's rough, i feel for you. I'll be there eventually too, with my father.
No downer, no worries
Thanks, friend. Good luck.
LOL I won't make it to 80.
I dont expect to make it to 80 unless I somehow manage to survive my country losing world War 3 and stull having to go to work cause capitalists stole what little I had saved for retirement.
Whatever happens, best of luck.
Yeah and all my tattoos will look dumb then too.
Idk. Maybe. If you keep your love for what they represented to you, who cares though?