this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 253 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Everything I hear about that guy is worse each time

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 176 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The actual self quote is so much worse than the headline

“I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be,” he wrote, reportedly reflecting on strained relationships with his brother Douglas Kennedy and cousin Bobby Shriver. “My kids waited patiently in the car.”

[–] nkat2112@sh.itjust.works 64 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Holy...

This might be weirder than the time he bragged about his immunity and fearlessness of germs in the context of cocaine and a public toilet seat. But I forget how that goes.

[–] lividweasel@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Where does it rank relative to strapping a whale head to the roof of the minivan, dripping whale goo on his family?

[–] variablenine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Or the time he dumped a dead bear cub in central park and staged it to look like a bicycle accident. That was only 12 years ago

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Wait, that can't be. Yesterday was 12 years ago.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 81 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Everything I learn about him is against my will.

[–] variablenine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 days ago (4 children)

He also beheaded a beached whale with a chainsaw and bungee corded it to the top of his minivan for a five hour drive

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That sounds made up. But so does all the rest of this.

What the fuck.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Dojan@pawb.social 1 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I believed it. It just sounds like it wouldn't be real. It's bananas.

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"I hope ya know I pack a chainsaw (what?)"

You know, the more I learn about him, the more I actually think he would skin your ass raw

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I already knew that, unfortunately!

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

in his youth he would eat roadkill.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Not to make it worse but did you hear he’s the health secretary??

[–] M137@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The only things I've heard are from here on lemmy and it's obvious I don't need to look more into him, he's somehow managed to go a whole universe beyond the fever dream that's the current US situation. I almost like these posts because it's all so unbelievable and weird in a way that isn't so deeply morally corrupt like the, what's now normal, billionaire oligarch pedophilia. It's fucked up in a parody way. But as said, I haven't looked deeper at all, I have no idea if he's part of that too so please correct me if I'm wrong.

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

There's no need to waste any time thinking about that guy. He's just a huge piece of shit doing shitty things to America, similar to most of the pedo-hitler administration, but usually weirder.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He also fucked around on his wife, again. Hines isn't really around.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I've completely lost respect for her

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

She's always been a talentless gold digger.