this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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I woke up to an panic inducing mental war with my intrusive thoughts While burning up in bed (CW: suicidal thoughts) (lemmygrad.ml)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by Lenom@lemmygrad.ml to c/comradeship@lemmygrad.ml
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I was sleeping in the middle of the night until I woke up overheating and my intrusive thoughts rushing through my mind and doing things like:

  • Saying Its the reason I love music and thats why its important.
  • I should push a long thick needle in through my eye socket, impale my brain, and end my life. *The only way to be happy is to kill myself
  • I will die suffering under capitalism
  • gaslighting me into thinking I don't like music.
  • something about bananas
  • I will never be happy
  • etc.

They were so fast and rapid I couldn't even counter act the claims. Right now my brain mellowed out and the intrusive thoughts are more easier to fight now. And I am feeling like im in an alternate reality

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[โ€“] Lenom@lemmygrad.ml 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My intrusive thoughts aren't as intense as they were that day, but they are still here unfortunately

[โ€“] 6kb_@lemmygrad.ml 0 points 1 month ago

alright, that's good to know. well, i don't know what consolation i can offer you but that's really overwhelming and i'm sorry it's still lingering in your mind. when you're being overwhelmed like this, what helps more, trying to rationally overcome or dismantle the arguments or just trying to placate yourself via distraction or some sort of other balm? sorry again my responses are late :(