Dad for a Minute

It’s been almost 12 years since you past, will be in a few days. Still miss you a lot even after all this time. Woke up early this morning, around the same time I was awoken 12 years ago to be rushed to the hospital to say my goodbyes to you. Curled up in bed with the last birthday gift I ever gave you. Been wearing that necklace a lot these past few weeks.

Still hold on to quite a few of your things. Remember that little Intel astronaut plush you had hanging from the ceiling in your office? Well he hangs off the side of my backpack now, might not be the same as your office but he hasn’t been forgotten.

I have a bottle of your old cologne that I found when we were moving out. Also found your old gameboys from when you were a kid. They sit on my shelf now, you passed on your love of computers and video games to me.

Miss you a lot dad, Love you.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/44773652

What's your Dad Score?

It's out of warranty. It works but only when I press and hold the button in, so I can't use it. I think it's something to do with the button mechanism.

Any ideas? It's not the robovac brand but obviously it wasn't cheap!

Dad, I injured my already bad right knee real hard. I don't think I'll be able to continue teaching drums anymore. I need to get back into translating languages for a living. This sucks so bad, but I clearly can't keep on going with my knee in terms of drumming and I'm not good enough with most other instruments. I'm still learning the piano. I just need a hug... :-/

EDIT: I'm a gal.

Merry Christmas. It would be a really nice gift this year if you would talk to me. My transition was the last nail you needed to finish building that fence between us, ignoring my phone calls and messages, but you were never communicative on our best days either. I hear through mom you "don't understand" and she has placed the onus on me to bridge that gap, but I don't want to anymore. I can't keep reaching across the gulf alone.

I love you. I miss you. I miss what we never had. I only ever wanted you to see me, connect with me.

Are you proud of me yet?

I love you so much. Today's Christmas day and I miss you. Are you proud of me?

It's been a few years and I still miss you. I just want you to know I picked up your present for me and it's wrapped and under the tree. You always made sure I got chocolate covered cherries.

I'm not talking to Mom and I think you can understand why. I still blame her, and I can't see myself ever having a healthy relationship with her. I'm in therapy. It helps.

I've gotten much closer with your sisters. They're great and are filling the family void. We have weekly stitch and bitches.

The pup is also doing fine. He's a grumpy old man dog.

I'm crying cos it's so sad not having you here. It's just hitting me that it's only a few weeks away, but you're not here. Christmas always brings up how much I love you. You're not here but I'm going to choose a snack for santa (aka you) and put it out Christmas eve. I'm gonna pick something really nice for you, I hope you like it.

I'm probably gonna talk to you here a few times over Christmas I hope that's ok.

cross-posted from: https://piefed.blahaj.zone/c/wholesome/p/428550/it-s-true

considering the topic of this community, it should be obvious who i'm referring to...some people never should have had kids in the first place, and arent worth the heart/headache of worrying yourself with...right?

edit/ i realize this actually might have been too vague, i mean having piece of shit for a father. when do you just giveup even bothering to keep that connection going?

After almost a year of moving cities for the first time in 3 years and some of the highest highs of life, I crashed, reached burnout, some bouts of sads and self-doubt, exacerbated by the weariness with the world and the consequences for mine and my loved ones' future prospects and generally increased cynicism towards everything.

Needless to say - hard times. But last week I've finally been sufficiently functional to partake in the one hobby that stuck with me despite ADHD, the one thing that has never not brought me joy and catharsis and it is making music. Feels great to be back.

I recently made it to a new country where I'm studying and hopefully will migrate to. It's been a while since I last talked here and things then were very difficult for me. Thank you for your support then I really needed it. It's still difficult to be honest but I've been doing so much better here. It took me years of seriously looking into and over a year of getting legal stuff lined up and doubling down on savings.

I've gone through a divorce and watching multiple good friendships dissolve over long distance. I've been fighting with bureaucracy every day, I don't have a phone plan or internet at my home yet because of it. Without a phone plan I can't connect to the internet to translate stuff or get directions anywhere when I'm away from the school wifi. I miss my cat but for now he's being fostered by really good people who love him.

But I'm here, I'm away from the US, I'm making it work every day. I already know a lot of basics about what I'm choosing to study here so I'm spending most of my effort early on building new relationships and helping other students learn. I'm project lead in our current assignment which isn't something I thought I'd like but I think I'm actually not bad at it. I'm really proud of what I'm doing in part because it's so difficult for me and I'm pulling it off.

It's a charity set up for dads to send letters to people who don't have a dad! Website is here and NBC article is here. Become a dad is here for anyone retired or anything who has the time.

Thought you might find it interesting (although obviously none of the dads are as great as you)

I just had a kid of my own and I’m finding some feelings of resentment towards mom.

Like, there were some times where I didn’t receive the supervision I needed, or where I wasn’t taught certain life skills (because she was so busy with my siblings) and I just can’t imagine letting that happen with my baby.

Did you ever feel this way towards your parents when you had me? If so, how did you deal with it?

Thanks Pop.

Thanks so much for your help dad! I had trouble getting it in but managed to complete the job... so tell mom not to worry you're not going to have to pop round and fix it haha.

Dad my bedroom door handle won't stay up so the door won't shut. How do I fix it?

As you know, I have been bored being just a housewife since the kids went off to school and I found husbands for all of my friends and they are happily married. I was thinking of becoming a matchmaker but my husband doesn’t think it is a good idea because he thinks it will bring drama in to my life. What do you think I should do?

(That's all but if you need a dad today feel free to make a separate post or comment here and I'll try to respond in between my outside projects. Other dads are welcome to respond to people too!)

Hi Dad, this is hard for me to say, & I know it might be hard for you to hear, but I hate myself. I don’t like the person I’ve grown into, & it’s not because of anything you did wrong in fact, it’s the opposite. You gave me a good childhood. You were present, supportive, & loving. You helped me through school, college, my relationship, & advice for getting a good job. On paper I am doing well but I don’t feel that way. I tried to do everything right but I still can’t shake the hate I have for myself. That hatred that used to motivate me now just a heavy weight. I’m so quick to give up. I feel tired all the time, like I’m running on empty, even when I’m doing nothing. And the worst part is I can’t seem to push through it, even when I know something might make me feel better, I don’t have the energy or will. I just feel stuck doing things I don’t really enjoy since they don’t require any energy to do. I hate that part of me. For me, when things get hard, I now stall & I hate that about myself. I guess I’m reaching out because I want to understand how you’ve kept going. How have you always gotten up when you’ve felt miserable. I feel like you gave me so much potential & I’ve squandered it.

Hi dad, unfortunately my biological dad doesn't offer me his support, so I write here.

I am 26 years old and I am living with my parents but I really wish I had the energies to move out. My parents are physically abusive towards one another, my mother suffers from schizophrenia and thinks everyone hates her, uses me as a punchbag for her emotions and criticizes all of my choices. My father cheats on her and is emotionally unavailable for me. If I were a normal person I'd just head out of here, but unfortunately "normal" I am not as I myself suffer from diagnosed general (and quite strong) anxiety and I think some depression as well and everything seems so difficult for me.

I also feel really ashamed for having failed college, sometimes I even feel 'stupid' because of it. Now I’m working as an unskilled employee, and it makes me afraid to move out because I constantly worry: will I be able to find another job?

On top of that, I feel a lot of pressure at work. I’m the only one who can maintain and develop the company’s software. While we have other team members, like an AI prompt engineer, a backup engineer, several people in sales, and a graphic designer, I’m the only actual developer. My colleagues have told me that if I left it would be very difficult for them to keep things running, and some even said they'd have to quit too. That kind of responsibility weighs heavily on me.

I'd also love to go back at college but time is running up before I lose the credits I acquired. But I don't know how I could study while also maintaining myself with a full time job.

Sorry dad for pouring all that on you. I really don't know what to do and I feel really lost. A hug would be more than enough.

I’m a 27 year old single mom with a 12 year old son (Yes I had him at 15). Ever since I left my abusive relationship with his father, he hasn’t had a male figure around, and I haven’t really had a full on discussion about him about puberty or hygiene/shaving down there. I think he’d probably be most comfortable discussing these things with me even as his mom compared to his grandfather or my brother/his uncle, just because of how much closer we are. I’ve done some research online about male puberty, hormones, and hygiene for uncircumcised boys, but how do I approach having this conversation with him without making him uncomfortable and what else should I talk to him about?

Edit: Thanks for the advice, he was surprisingly comfortable talking to me about some of these things. I took some of your advice and had a casual approach, made a few jokes as well.

Though one thing he confessed was that he isn’t able to pull his foreskin behind his head yet, is that normal and how should he keep himself clean if he can’t expose his head?

I've got no earthly clue on who of your very wholesome community read my previous post here, but anyways, here's some amazing news:

Yes, I agreed to be a drum teacher substitute for the one teacher who unfortunately passed away recently due to old age.

Why did I hesitate so much? Because I'm transgender, it would mean that some peeps realising I grew up in that small town area, but I don't give two shits anymore. My boyfriend, he's transgender as well, and we share a deep love for music.

Also fighting with my gauntlets on, I got all my wishes cared for. There's an open door policy with me. The door is never closed and there will always be at least two parents present. I won't have to deal with any accusations from anyone.

All I want to do is teaching drums - because I'm sort of good at it. I love music!

This video recently warmed up my heart - I want to be a cool teacher (and the teacher was the English teacher, not the music teacher, lol.)

youtube.com/watch?v=-hNci03mKAE

For myself - I aspire to bring along this great message from a band I really love:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwjsbFf-l2s (Lyrics) https://genius.com/Project-pitchfork-conjure-lyrics

Can I hit the drums hard to any song? Yes. :)

Do I want any child to be able to express themselves? Oh heck yes.

Any feedback welcome, and thank you again, all of you lovely Dads for coping with my original post!

I am not starting to teach drums until August, because it's just too warm over here with the weather at the moment, but come August, let's bang the hell out of those drum kits! ^^

Everybody feel hugged here!

Yours MJ

Hello dads, I copy+pasted this question from your sister community.

So, long story short: I’ve been a musician for pretty much all my life. After a massive hearing loss, I picked up drums about a year ago and I’ve had so many great teachers myself. Now the local music school asked me if I could teach drums to their kids. They lost their former teacher due to old age.

I have rarely dealt with children. Sure, I was a tutor for some when it comes down to languages, but teaching music? That is so new to me and I’m actually afraid.

I am all gauntlets right now negotiating the deal here: I want espescially girls to learn a new intrument. They must be bored out of themselves just playing the flute, organ and piano.

So, my approach is probably this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL5oBbriJuQ

:D

Any hints or tips you can give me? Please?

I’m a 38 years old lesbian with basically no clue whatsoever when it comes down to dealing with kids… ^^

EDIT: I’m afraid the girls want me to play pop music on the drums, and I get easily bored by that.

Watch one of my drumming teachers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHl_gsd0OR0

XD

I really like the idea of this #Lemmy community: https://feddit.online/c/dadforaminute@lemmy.world . I wish it were more active.

Most on the Fediverse can follow it at, and post to it at: @dadforaminute

Note. Those on my Friendica instance can't access lemmy.world because the 240K requests per day coming in from Lemmy instances overwhelmed the server and the database, and I had to block Lemmy. Friendica just can't handle it.

#Piefed #MBIN #dad