I disagree almost entirely. If you're going to arbitrarily reduce 50% of the population to "those people are the reason for my suffering", then you're a dumb tool, and your rage is childish and shouldn't be encouraged.
You seem to be conflating, "Uh, don't be sexist because you're angry," with "Your emotions are invalid and you shouldn't pursue your own betterment".
Guiding and directing policy are no different for someone who doesn't hold office. I will reiterate again that using your trauma as an excuse to hold bigoted views is childish and that it shouldn't be encouraged.
If in my experience most of the black people in my life were violent rapists, you wouldn't be like, "Wow, yes, you should blame all black people for the actions of the small group that you have interacted with". You would tell me that I was being a dumbshit for idk, blaming an entire group of people for the actions of a few.
I'm not about to play coddle Olympics towards someone who is directing their trauma and frustrations in an unhealthy way. I'm going to sympathize but also direct them towards a healthier approach.