darkishgrey

AFI, Summer Shudder.

The actual lyrics are "Under the summer rain" and somehow I kept hearing "Priest on a lake" the first several times I heard it.

I thank you so much for the reply, for the kind words, and for the resources you provided. I will absolutely look into ACT and talk to my therapist about it as well on Wednesday. I will also be looking into A Liberated Mind to learn more about the exercises.

Could you tell me a little more about why those exercises resonated with you? And are there any exercises you would recommend for feelings of guilt, specifically?

Mindfulness has definitely helped me in the past with my anxiety. I think I've been subconsciously avoiding mindfulness exercises because I've almost been afraid of it making things worse? But maybe that's me running away from my feelings more than I realized.

This was a very comforting reply for me, because I understand it. I honestly can't say that my mom and I were extremely close, or that she was my best friend, or that we even liked each other at times. But she was my mom, and there was love and good memories there, however sporadic.

It's complicated, isn't it?

Thank you for the reassurance that it does get better, and for offering to lend an ear. That's incredibly kind of you, and I'm very grateful.

I'm very sorry for your loss, but I'm so glad you had that comfort come to you in a dream.

I actually did have a single good dream about her, the Friday after she passed. Two of the biggest questions on my mind in her final hours were "does she know she's struggling?" And "is she scared?" And I was able to ask her both of those in the dream. The answers were beautiful and comforting, and I'm trying very hard to hold onto that dream.

Thank you for your kind words. I will try to be gentle with myself.

I'm definitely experiencing the waves. I haven't felt any big emotions in over a week and then today they hit me like a train because a stranger that knew her said something nice about her. I do fully expect that to keep happening, though, and I've made peace with it.

I hadn't considered listening to grief podcasts. It hadn't even occured to me they existed, actually lol. I will definitely look into that - thank you very much for the suggestion. If you have any recommendations on which ones to dive into, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, and for the reassurance. I appreciate it so much.

That seems like very sound, proactive advice. I feel like I've been caught in a sort of stasis since she passed. I go to work, I come home. The only variation has been when I need to go to the store.

My husband and I are planning on going back to the gym soon, and I am scheduled for a D&D session next weekend. Writing with some friends is really my only hobby, and I haven't been doing that, so I will try to get back into it. Because you're right. Sitting in the grief with nothing to do or look forward to hasn't helped so far, so it's time to try something new.

I thank you, truly.

I'm going to save this and keep it as a reminder. Thank you so much.

I never considered that. I've used hypnosis before and it did help. I may look to see if I can find something online. Thank you.

It really does. I'm trying to navigate it as best I can, and I do have a support system, so I have that going for me.

Thank you, friend. I genuinely appreciate that.

Writing with my friends, learning languages, and catching new hyperfixations.