FatTony

Does it actually matter whether you flirt with someone or not in order for them to (potentially) develop feelings for you? A lot of people have told me it's intrinsic, as in "If they like you, they like you." So you should just treat the person you're interested in like you would any other person.

So if it all comes down to connection and looks, doesn't that make flirting a bit redundant?

Edit: To clarify, I see flirting as banter to make sexual/romantic intentions known.

There is this girl I like, she knows I would like to go on a date with her someday. She isn't sure what she wants at the moment. That's all fine but I genuinely begin to develop feelings for her. And I just don't really care all that much for a friendship anymore. It screws with my psyche, it's like only being allowed to smell a fine wine instead of drinking it. (bad analogy, but fuck it)

I've had enough. I just want to tell her I don't like seeing her on just a friendship level any more. And if she doesn't see me as a romantic partner, which is totally A-okay fine with me, but it will mean I'm walking away from this friendship all together. At the same time I don't want to force her to make a decision (she sometimes has trouble saying no). And here's the real son of a gun, she is highly suicidal and takes endings of friendship badly (as she herself has said).

So does anyone have any advice to spare here? Yes, I'm a terrible person so think of it for her sake. Because the friendship is going to end, one way or the other.

I feel like I'm worth nobody's romantic time. I never ever flirt because of it. I always assume nobody wants me. And if they do, I genuinely figure they don't know what they want. I'm 26 years old and have never been with anybody. I do have hobbies, I dance (semi-professionally), I like to skateboard, I go to parties, go to the gym, etc. The only attention I ever get are from fat or ugly women. I have never met a woman I liked that liked me back. Or so I presume. Because, again, I genuinely cringe at the thought of me showing romantic interest and the other party not appreciating it. I actually feel like clawing my eyes out if that were to ever happen to me. And still I don't feel like changing, I am destined to die alone. I feel like improving my self esteem is the same shutting your eyes and pretending something isn't there. I also feel like I deserve it. I mean, if I REALLY wanted a girlfriend. I guess I could settle for a fat or ugly woman. But no, can't do that either. I would not be able to love someone if I felt like I only got there through a settlement of sorts. Anyway, I guess you could say, I am one lost cause mother fucker.