DaniNatrix

My mom died 5 months ago from MBC at 62. I was fortunate enough to be with her for the last few days. My husband and I drove overnight to get there, my brother and his partner did the same. My father and my aunt and us all took turns sitting with her, caring for her, doing everything we could to surround her with comfort and love.

The night she passed, we were all in the living room, she was in a hospital bed at this point, and we were all seated around her, watching a movie. She had been unconscious for days at that point but, for some reason, I had this feeling that she was looking at me. Logically, I know she wasn't and that she was unconscious etc. But it still felt that way and I looked over at her and no one else was looking, they were all glued to the screen, I'm struggling to explain this but it felt like for a moment, everything stopped and her and I were alone in the room.

I blew her a kiss and waved goodbye, it was such a tender moment and somehow felt so intimate despite everyone being there. No one else noticed, it was just her and I for that brief moment. We were close and loved each other a lot, imperfectly at times, but a lot. I'm so grateful for that memory.

She took her last breath about 30 minutes later. We surrounded her bedside, held her hands and feet, I stroked her face and whispered to her as she slipped away. Yet, it was that brief, time-frozen moment when it felt like we said goodbye to each other that really wrecks me and comforts me at the same time. I miss her a lot. Fuck cancer.

Hi Hank!!

"Cause love's such an old-fashioned word And love dares you to care for The people on the edge of the night And love dares you to change our way of Caring about ourselves This is our last dance This is our last dance This is ourselves Under pressure."

Really like your content, thanks for posting!

Childfree and share a house with my equally introverted partner. Work and commute are 45 hours of my week (excluding holidays and PTO etc.), other than that, the rest of my time is me time. I love spending hours on my own, puttering through my endless hobbies and interests. I have a few close friends, most are long distance, and I'm very grateful for them and the joy they bring to my life. Also very grateful that they respect my homebody nature. I think I'm very lucky, I know a lot of folks who feel they don't get the time and space they need.

The true role of government (i.e. power) is to perpetuate itself. Regardless of what ideology it dresses itself with, that is its goal and function. Not to serve the people it governs, not to protect them, not to further their wellbeing, health, and happiness etc. This applies to all governments/governing systems, though there is a spectrum of heavy handedness upon which they exist.

I'm not saying that's how it should be and I'm sure there's an exception or two out there. There are systems that are more permissive/open and subjectively more optimal to live under (I wish I lived under a better one) but the same still applies. Benefits/rights for the public typically need to be forced from the system or the benefit/right itself must somehow ultimately serve and benefit the overall system more and/or aid in its perpetuation.

So, the answer is, you're supposed to care about whatever your heart cares about because none of the people in power give a single shit about the children or any of the people they govern. The Iranian government does not care, the US government does not care, the Israeli government does not care, none of the European governments care etc. Giving a fuck about the faceless masses is not their function. Maintaining and increasing their power, control, and wealth is.

Bummer, can't read it without signing up.

Around 14 or 15 and was terrified of anyone in my family finding out so I kept that realization locked down. I actually never came out to my family as a queer woman. Then, in my 30s, one of my jesus freak aunts found a picture of me and my then girlfriend on said girlfriend's social media page, still to this day don't know how, and sent it to my entire family. Boy howdy was that a to-do.

Christmas is just no fun for me. I get that it is (apparently) for other people and I don't begrudge them that but, as a childfree 40 something non-religious queer woman, I think it's kinda lame lol. I do love having time off from work though, so that's cool.

Obligatory gift giving is not at all my thing. I love getting thoughtful gifts for folks and I'm generous by nature, however, I don't care for being strong armed into it by arbitrary convention. I wish the emphasis was on charity rather than consumption and all the time, not just for a few performative weeks.

The commercialized religiosity of the holiday in the US gets increasingly grating for me. The narratives around the traditions are tired. It feels like being shouted at for months. I prefer the pagan roots of the thing and try to ignore the vulgarity of the current interpretation.

I like the idea of mailing gifts so that the recipient gets a fun surprise and the comfort of opening it in their own space, and on their own time, without an audience. So I just mail out fun little things, sometimes homemade, sometimes purchased, throughout the entire year to my loved ones and make no specific effort at Christmas time. Like, a Christmas present is all well and good, but it's also quite predictable. A gift that shows up on March 12th for no reason other than you're awesome and I love you feels much more thoughtful to me.

My mentally ill ex husband, who kept a heroin and serial cheating habit quiet for over a year before I put the pieces together and kicked him out, created a website to make it look like he'd started a successful company and sent it to my friends and family members asking them to forward it to me since I had successfully blocked any form of direct contact with me.

It was pretty sad. You could tell that it was hastily thrown together, probably while he was high/manic. It also resulted in a large chunk of the people he initially sent it to blocking him as well, which likely increased his isolation etc.

Word to the wise, friends, you cannot save people from themselves, no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. Not everyone with mental illness and/or addiction issues will treat you badly, but, if they are not actively pursuing help on their own, there's not much to be done. Life is short, don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

I was living with my friend and her husband at the time. Her husband brought his boss over to the house to look at a truck or something, I can't remember. According to him, he fell hard and fast. I was skittish after having been through an abusive marriage and protracted divorce and took things very slowly. He was patient and so very kind and here we are, five years later, married and fixing up a house with a couple crazy dogs.

So, I didn't "do" anything, so to speak, we just showed up in each other's lives one day and happened to have shared values, interests, and attraction to each other. I know that's not a satisfying answer. A lot of couples I know met through mutual friends, for what it's worth.

cow!