ApplicantForFire

This is my love letter to the corporate world. I would like to share it as a way to vent:

Dear employers,

I do not have a job.

I do not want a job.

I want to work, and I want my expenses paid for, but I do not want to spend a single second going through the parasitic, disrespectful, abusive process to apply for a job and work for a company.

Allow me to walk you through the typical process to apply for a job, as you may be unaware:

The first step is to create a résumé. In order to even be considered for most positions, the résumé must use what is officially called "corporate jargon." However, "corporate bullshit" is a more fitting name. It's a style of language used by corporations in an attempt to sound professional, but instead it makes the text convoluted, wards off any applicants with an ounce of self respect, and sounds downright disgusting, pompous, and inhumane.

Let's look at an example. I've noticed "thrives in a fast-paced environment" is an extremely common phrase that appears in job listings. People assume it means "enjoys working at an exciting and eventful job," but what it actually means is that you are constantly rushed, hassled by managers, no time for breaks to collect yourself or fix pressing issues, and constant pressure and stress. That is not a healthy job, so advertising it as such is slimy and deceptive.

That same corporate bullshit is the language most employers expect to inject into each résumé in order to even be considered for the role. You can imagine the kind of people that attracts for the position.

After the résumé has been botoxed with the most vile language possible, the résumé must include a plethora of personal information. That includes a full name, phone number, email, home address, job history with references (which includes the personal information of other people), the name of every academic institution you attended, and much more.

If that information fell into the wrong hands, the ramifications would be catastrophic. Many job applications ask for things as detailed as your social security number before you're even considered for the position, and you're handing that along with your résumé to complete strangers. You're also trusting all of those strangers not to mishandle that information by carelessly throwing it away before shredding it or abuse that information themselves. Anyone could use that to commit identity theft, stalk you, or rob you.

Given how many jobs people apply for before they are accepted, it would be completely natural to feel uncomfortable handing out that personal information. Unfortunately, some jobs will only seek out applicants that post their résumé on services like Indeed or LinkedIn.

Speaking of which, both Indeed and LinkedIn collect and sell all personal information about its users. Anyone can and do buy that information. They explicitly state this in their privacy policy:

LinkedIn: "We will share your personal data with our Affiliates to provide and develop our Services." (https://www.linkedin.com/legal/privacy-policy#share 3.4 Related Services)

Indeed: "We collect personal data for research purposes to improve our products and services, understand user behavior and enhance user experience. Types of data collected varies with the specific study being performed but may include: First name, Last name, Gender, Age, Email address, Telephone number, Home address, IP address, Account ID's" (https://hrtechprivacy.com/brands/indeed#Data-collection-and-use Additional Purposes and Disclosures of Information)

Using those services breaches your personal information, plain and simple. People like myself will use those services to view jobs only, and apply outside of those sites (such as in person). Unfortunately, many jobs fail to include their address in the listing or are remote only.

I once found a listing for an IT job in my area. I visited the address on the job listing, and discovered that it was the address of a (rightfully) very confused man who had no idea about the job listing. Had I applied online instead of in person, my information most certainly would have been mishandled.

Many of the jobs I attempt to apply for in person all say "everything's online," and see no issue with that. Many jobs hiring for cybersecurity positions get suspicious if you show that you care about privacy. If someone doesn't even protect their own personal information, what makes you think they would be good at protecting yours as a career?

The next issue with job listings is the outrageous requirements. I have met brilliant individuals who would excel in their fields, yet struggle to find a job because they have no formal education, certifications costing hundreds of dollars each, or prior experience. Employers don't even give them a chance to demonstrate their knowledge.

Sometimes, employers will deny an applicant for being "overqualified." Instead of treating the applicant like a professional and valuing their experience and work, the applicant is flat out denied for the position. If the applicant tries to downplay their experience, they are instead "underqualified." Truthfulness is punished, and so the ones who make it through the application process lack integrity and honesty.

If an applicant finally manages to get an interview in person, the interview process is just as egregious as the application process. The ones in charge of hiring often know nothing about the position they are hiring for, so instead base their judgments entirely off of social and communication skills, which includes corporate jargon. Many of the questions asked during interviews are useless and have a hidden agenda. Applicants are expected to "study" these questions as if the interview is an exam. These questions rarely ever test the applicant's ability in the role.

Employers expect applicants not to waste their time, but will have no problem wasting applicants' time. If an applicant is anything but perfect, most employers will cease communication with the applicant without prior notice. From the applicant's point of view, he or she is waiting for a response from an employer before applying for the next job. The applicant does not want to apply for another job if it isn't necessary, because that takes time, effort, and personal information should be shared sparingly. Ghosting applicants is incredibly rude and egocentric.

If an applicant is approved for the role, many businesses will treat them like criminals by exposing them to scrutiny and unwanted investigation such as drug tests, social media stalking, etc. These practices are invasive, undermining, and belittling. People should be treated with trust and kindness, instead of distrust and judgment. Refusing any of these practices will get the applicant denied for the position.

There are numerous security and privacy concerns with telephony, email, banks, and others, most of which businesses refuse to accommodate. Corporations also include plenty of surveillance such as monitoring software, surveillance cameras, and other technology that harms work ethic and mental health through effects such as the Hawthorne effect.

With all of this in mind, the pure, experienced, honest, respectful people are punished and denied by employers every step of the way. What ends up happening is that people either become desperate enough to bend over to these malpractices, earn a low paying but ethical job at a small business, or end up without a job altogether. This needs to stop, and preventing it is not hard at all. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Use normal, human language.
• Post job listings on local job boards.
• Encourage people to apply in person by removing any online applications.
• Discourage résumés or responsibly handle all personal information you receive.
• Put those who know the position best in charge of hiring for that position.
• Give every applicant a chance to demonstrate their skills without judging a book by its cover.
• Communicate using secure platforms such as face-to-face, Signal, SimpleX Chat, and others.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt, and only take action if there is reasonable suspicion.
• Treat your employees with the privacy and respect they deserve.

Be the change that needs to happen in the world.

Sincerely,

Anonymous