A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
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Same way every game of Settlers of Catan does: the women get tired asking who has wood, one person dominates leaving everyone else just watching, and it ends with everyone picking things off the floor wondering if they should have just stayed home and watched Ted Lasso.
Where do the sheep come in?
about the same time the FBI shows up to the orgy I would assume.
Not long ago, I would have assumed you meant the FBI was showing up to put an end to the beastiality
I'm one of those great people who can't read social cues, so when a get-together is winding down and people are leaving, I'll hang around until you explicitly tell me to GTFO. It's not that I'm desperate to stay or anything, I just don't know how to read a room, especially if I have no other plans. I would be an absolute fucking nightmare at an orgy. 4am, the host now fully dressed again, mopping up the cum and sweat, and it'd just be me left, naked, wanking on his couch. His wife away to bed already, lights in the kitchen switched off, dogs fed and candles blown out, and just the thwick-thwick-thwick of my foreskin rolling back and forth while the guy angrily clears his throat, getting progressively more tuberculosisy as his impatience grows and with my apparently psychopathic dominance display showing no signs of abating.
"Hey man, got any more Viagra? Don't think I'll be getting another natural one tonight lol"
"Please... please leave..."
"Oh sure no worries, bye" and I'd be gone in 3 minutes without being any the wiser about what a colossal fucking prick I'd been until maybe 3 or 4 years later.
Actually, this reminded me of a real thing that happened when I was a teen, and the horror of which only dawned on me about 6 months after. I was in Belfast meeting a potential new bandmate for my metal band. He wouldn't be there for another 45 minutes or so, so I thought I'd pass the time in a guitar store, playing a guitar I could never afford, without headphones. I must have ran through Metallica's entire discography for that full 45 minutes - an incredibly long time. One of the clerks came and chatted with me, and I thought he was just shooting the shit, but in retrospect he was screaming through his eyes "motherfucker, buy something or fuck off, or at least stop playing Enter fucking Sandman". As I was leaving the store, one of the other guys behind the counter joked "after all that and you're not even buying something?" but guess what friends? That was no joke. And my parting response to it must have sounded truly fucking psychotic. "What for? Sure I can just come in here and play to my heart's content for free lol" as the door closes behind me. I don't even want to imagine what they said about me after I left.
Lads, get that autism diagnosis under your belt as early as you possibly can.
Also, if anyone is having an orgy near Belfast, hit me up! My willy's pretty small, so I won't be a bother to anyone. You won't even know I'm there.
What the fuck did i just read
I want to be their best friend, it'd be a nightmare but fun while it lasted
I dunno but I declare it's destined to become the next greatest copypasta material.
You read some classic fucking Lemmy, that's what you read.
I'm not having an orgy but you can come wank on the couch at my great uncle's wake this Saturday. It'll be a good conversation starter.
oh you're why Matchett's hired a bouncer.
Holy fuck, it WAS Matchetts! Now I'm getting scared that I'm 2 comments away from doxxing myself, so goodbye forever 💗
Every 10 minutes, someone gets voted out Survivor-style.
No. Different game show: 'The weakest dink'
Waps someone's dong with hand
'you are the weakest dink, goodbye!'
you joke, but pornographic horny TV game show would be amazing.
get random OF creators as players.
come up with crazy challenges or games...
I would definitely watch it, even if not horny,
the question is, who's charitmatic enough to host it?
I already cum on en passant
I assume with food and rehydration, since its not like people will be sleeping over the night.
Why not? Everybody's spent the night at all the orgies I've been to.
Where are all the orgies that you've been to? My friend wants to know
House parties with people who are in the kink/BDSM scene.
Well first, I'd like to thank you all for coming and last I'd like to thank you all for coming.
I assume that people drop out as they get tired. Eventually, there's few enough people involved that it just no longer counts as an orgy. At that exact moment, some people are still going, but the orgy has ended.
I suppose now the question is what's the minimum number of people to classify it as an orgy. 5 is my best guess.
That sounds right. I've heard of a threesome. I've heard of a foursome. Never heard of a fivesome. Because that's when it becomes and orgy.
Usually when the drugs run out
Judging from the last one I was at, when everyone decides to take a third break and get more interested in 80's music trivia on YouTube than continuing.
I haven't been to an orgy, but I have gotten a couple of invites over Grindr. There are always so many rules. So don't worry they'll tell you.
The one I helped organize had an end time because of the venue.
Yeah. The basement of the Brooklyn supermarket wasn't going to keep the spot longer then the first morning trucks.
Didn't know Grant O'Brien has a Lemmy account
You can only use an egg timer if someone is ovulating.
I imagine the ideal scenario is pomodoro-style. Twenty-five minutes of fucking with five minute breaks, until everyone's had their fill.
I expect porn movies have set OP's expectations a bit high. Surely at some point the mind is willing but the flesh is weak, right? Or is that just me?
tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk- DING!
"Geez guys, that was a lot of fun. Now grab a mop or get out of my house"
I've never had the pleasure, do orgies have a last call?
Same as a party
My last orgy ended when I passed out under a credenza
Once everything gets rubbed raw.
the homeowner's spouse comes home unexpectedly