this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Atheist Memes

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[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (31 children)

And they’ll keep on circumcising their sons while unironically screaming about anyone who respects trans rights being out to surgically mutilate all children. What a world.

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[–] JLock17@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

According to them:

Mutilating your genitals for sky daddy in your head- good and normal

Surgery to be your true self - Deranged

I hate this hell world.

[–] JLock17@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Job: "Thanks for giving me back everything you took from me in that bet with Satan, but can you please bring my dead family back to life?"

God: "We haven't established that lore yet."

[–] suite403@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

God: I replaced them, what's your problem?

[–] JLock17@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I constantly reference Job for exactly that logic. Early Christianity saw family as property first.

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fun fact: Abraham goes up the mountain with his son but comes down alone, suggesting that in the original text he went through with the child sacrifice.

[–] ytg@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The Bible has tons of edits like this, it's fun to spot them—and even more so to guess the intent behind them. Often when a seemingly irrelevant detail (or an entire chapter) is inserted in the middle of a story, that's an edit (although there are also genuine errors). In general, the Bible is not as well put-together as people tend to think. In this case, whoever wrote this wanted to make clear that Judaism does not condone human sacrifice, in contrast to other contemporary religions.

Others (chiefly those who consider the text to be holy) interpret the pronoun change as indicative of an emotional separation between Abraham and his son, as if following these events they don't want to walk together any more.

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago

whoever wrote this wanted to make clear that Judaism does not condone human sacrifice, in contrast to other contemporary religions.

I suspect that the addition of the lamb(goat?) Was a latter addition to distance Judaism from child sacrifice but that Judaism did evolve out of a religious tradition that practiced child sacrifice (and idolatry). But I'm also aware of how antisemites would love to slander modern Judaism with accusations in a similar vein, so it's a kinda difficult line to walk.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm pretty sure it started with some chick named Mary cheating on her spouse, and then "Uh, no, it's uh, it's... MAGIC! Yeah, I got pregnant from magic! But the magic was a person you see, named uhm, looks over at pet dog, named do- uh no, g-o-d, his name was God! God gave us a magic baby! Yay!"

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

don't forget the part where she got her fiance/husband totally snookered and/or dosed with magic mushrooms or something; and then appeared to him pretending to be an angel telling him to shut the fuck up and go with it.

(or maybe she got a friend to be the angel?)

Edit: also, can we talk about how if the story is real... there was no chance that Mary could give meaningful consent?

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[–] positiveWHAT@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's the new testament. Pretty modern and woke stuff compared to the old testament which is the common root of Abrahamic religions.

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[–] amotio@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

The power of women. She and few schizophrenics changed the whole society.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Mary was a teenage girl that was being married off to an older man who was already widowed with children (at least, I think that’s the Catholic claim. “Perpetual virginity” and all that means that Jesus shouldn’t have siblings..)

I think rationally she was a teenage girl that was raped by a Roman soldier, and considering that not being a virgin on your wedding night was the kind of thing that, at least on the books, could get you killed…

If Mary lied, that was a really smart move.

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Even as a child i used to hear this story and go “that’s fucked up. Why would god ask him to do that? What a psycho. And why would Abraham agree to do it?! If god is asking you to murder your own kid, maybe that god is shit”

[–] Ironfist79@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why would a loving god torture people for eternity? I guess we'll never know.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why? Have you not played The Sims?

[–] Ironfist79@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah but I don't claim to love my sims.

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[–] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 year ago

Gabriel: what else could a test to see whether someone would stab and burn a child possible be!?

God: a test of obedience and faith!

Gabriel: a test to see if someone has faith in voices in his head that tell him to murder children IS A PSYCHOPATH TEST!!

God: well I'm sure there is something more psychotic than obeying murderous voices in your head

Gabriel: well, I can't think of much

omg 💀

[–] rational_lib@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I'm just wondering what kind of parents name their kid Abraham. Like "We're gonna name him after that guy. Yes, that one."

And then he grows up and frees the slaves. Go figure.

[–] Blubber28@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not to mention that those same 4 billion people are convinced that it is an act of love. Their god would be abusive as fuck if it existed.

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[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Whats even funnier is that in the original (Jewish interoperation) god does this as a joke. Yes god literally makes a bet with angels over if he'll acturally go through with it. Then said angels go down to earth to attempt to sway him because they wanted to win the bet.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (3 children)

How exactly is the Jewish interpretation different from the Christian one? I thought the Christian Old Testament was identical to the Torah. I ask as someone who was raised Methodist.

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I wouldn't trust anyone who misspelled interpretation twice.

interpenetration

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

My keyboard app doesn't have working spellcheck. Sorry that every other Android keyboard is spyware.

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[–] DicJacobus@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was never raised religiously. My first exposure to the Bible was the lego comic the brick testament. It was batshit insane as a kid and it's batshit insane now

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[–] TheDarkestShark@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Once you start learning about some newer iterations of Christianity like Mormonism and Seventh Day Adventism, where there are actual accounts of their prophets, you do realize how these people were either really good con artists or just insane.

[–] JLock17@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

Why not both?

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Well hey, when your invisible friend says kill, you kill.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As they say, if you talk to God, that’s praying, but if God talks to you, that’s schizophrenia.

[–] JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

If you talk to god, you are an idiot and if he talks to you, you are a schizophrenic idiot.

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[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And then God was all like "It was just a joke dog. Why you gettin' all triggered?"

[–] oyo@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Just Joshua-ing ya, bro.

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago

Religion is a helluva drug.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago

"Old man listens to cloud" is an even scarier headline.

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