Memes

I had a BBQ going one time and one of my friends was going through a rough patch and didn't really feel very sociable but would disappear into the woods, come back with a log, chop it into firewood and then poke the fire a bit while adding fuel.

He didn't say much that day and spent at least 12 hours just tending the fire and one of my friends who didn't know him said "Man theres always gotta be the fire guy"

It's like yea... Before we had much technology we had the fire and if we were fortunate enough we had a guy who really liked doing that. People have probably been saying something like this for a million years.

One fire guy is ok. Two fire guys is a disaster.

If you have two fire guys, one fire and one girl, you better bring the guitar before you join them. You don't even need to play it, it just has to be there to pacify the fire guys.

That's because burning shit is more interesting than talking to you idiots.

Fire is a fickle little thing that if not attended, will die immediately or get wildly out of control. It moves, breathes and eats. Every piece of fuel must be assessed for moisture, shape, size, and the potential to create smoke or embers. Fuel placement is critical, depending on the purpose of the fire, you can make it burn faster, stronger, longer, or create a good bed of coals for cooking. Fire gives warmth, and light while also containing desolation and death. It is a balancing act with dire consequences for falling off either side of a thin line of control.

Occasionally a log will pop or snap, and throw out a little spark show, and that is cool.

we'd drag discarded railroad ties down by a creek and drink beer and smoke weed. age 14-15. got beer by asking someone in line at the drive-up liqueur store to buy it. or go inside and shoplift something. was something to do i guess. not recommended firewood because they are soaked in creosote, but burn good. drinking not recommended. i managed to quit. friend never quit and died of liver damage 30 years later. cautionary note for anyone considering same habits.

The real trial is being this guy when other people decide they're going to start a fire and by the time you get there they've done it all wrong and the thing is smouldering and coughing up smoke and barely staying lit at all as they cram handfuls of pine needles and barely dry leaves into places while there's a full-ass log precariously balanced on top of it all and they're saying things like "Maybe we should pour a little lamp oil on top of it?"

And then you have to be the adult and take over the whole operation.

Man I fuck wit fire. Well, used to; my old, crippled ass can't fuck wit much any more.

Point is that being the fire tender isn't exactly a no skill job, and it comes with some serious benefits.

You gotta have at least a basic understanding of how fire works if you want to keep it going, and learn how to keep it controlled. That's why fucks-wit-fire is such a coveted, but demanding, position. See, you gotta keep an eyeball on it. Stacking in fresh fuel in the right way. Keeping adequate air flow. Moving unburned fuel into the center. It's a dance.

And for that effort, you not only get the delightful scent of wood smoke in your beard, and the glow of warmth across your flesh, you get to see the ever shifting beauty of the fire and the embers. A constant flux of colors and lights that seems alive. I'd hypnotic, meditative, and can be a spiritual experience if one leans that way.

Ash, drifting on breeze settles into your hair as sleep looms and you bank the fire, setting things up for the chilly morning to come, you look down at your friend glowing beneath ashes that only reluctantly settle in for the night.

You go to your rest warm, fulfilled, and at peace.

Not me. I'm the guy trying to convince everyone camping is more fun without a fire

Not a guy. Fire, good. Burn everything.

That's me. Just not white? Is being white a mandate for this role?

What's with the trend of mentioning that people are white and connecting it with things they do? I also see live streamers do this a lot (including in reference to themselves) and it's strange to me

It's an opportunity to play with fire and do something positive. Why wouldn't I be that guy?

You didn't really campfire if you don't smell like campfire

Last time I went out on a trip with the extended family (we're roughly 20 people, give or take), it was in a rented big structure with a sleeping area, a dining area, and a kitchen, and a yard outside with a place to make a fire. We started a fire, but come dinner time they all wanted to leave the fire going and eat at the table.

I absolutely refused. No way in the world in leaving a fire unattended like that. I said we either stop the fire altogether (and restart it later), or I'll stay watching it until someone comes to replace me.

In the end I took a plate of food and ate it by the fire alone, until someone indeed came to replace me and I went to finish the meal at the table. It turned out fine, but it really annoyed me how no one in my family saw sense. They kept trying to convince me to just come and eat dinner.... as if the social togetherness somehow makes the risk of starting a forest fire unimportant?! There's some smart people in my family, but some days I don't understand how they can all be so blind to the obvious reality.

I am that white guy. You're welcome.