Parents are advised to be patient with their errant children and gently guide them back to MAGA fascism.
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
675 points (99.3% liked)
Progressive Politics
4911 readers
245 users here now
Welcome to Progressive Politics! A place for news updates and political discussion from a left perspective. Conservatives and centrists are welcome just try and keep it civil :)
(Sidebar still a work in progress post recommendations if you have them such as reading lists)
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
I dug up the article. It actually isn't too bad.
https://www.foxnews.com/health/cut-off-adult-child-psychology-researcher-reveals-what-parents-should-do-next
All of the advice is solid: listen, don't react immediately, don't get emotional, paraphrase back what people have said to ensure you are understanding what you're being told, using and asking for SBI statements, use more "I"s than "you"s, all that stuff. All legit.
It's not hard to spot where the messaging is being softened to appeal to conservative parents, especially the parts that imply why children may have simply misunderstood the parents' intent. ... Riiiight.
But the best read of the article's even-handedness can be found in the comments, many of which question the article's validity and proclaim happiness to be rid of their estranged family members. All the introspection and humility one might expect from that crowd.
Why children may have misunderstood the parent's intent
"Look son, we didn't say we want to murder all gay people, we just want them to stop acting gay so we can pretend everyone is normal and straight..... what do you mean using the term normal like that is just more descrimination against you?"
I mean, you're being sarcastic but so many boomers seem to genuinely believe that and cannot understand why it's considered "wrong".
They don't think. I'm not being a dick. Seriously. If you ask them why they hold a certain belief they will tell you one reason, maybe two, but no more. They can't tell you any more reasons because they never thought past the first one. By comparison i could probably list 6 or 7 reasons why I'm not having children, because it's something I've thought about a lot over the years.
Yeah conservatives are usually just dumber than shit. They don't think logically about the things they believe. It's one emotional reaction to something and they form their stance around and that's the end of it.
One dude I work with is MAGA solely because he doesn't want "men" in his daughter's bathroom at school. I was like "Were they having a problem with that before Trump got elected?" "No.... Not that I'm aware of ..."
My in-laws are the classic religious conservative and I’m pretty sure that devoting your life to the evangelical Christian faith means giving up critical thinking skills in order to be accepted. Faith means you never question anything.
“When we hired those men to abduct you as a teenager from your bedroom as you slept to haul you away to a Christian indoctrination camp in another state in a grotesque attempt to destroy your personal and sexual identity, your belief that this qualifies us utterly psychopathic people unfit to be parents is a complete misunderstanding of our intent. We simply wanted you to be closer to God’s love.”
load more comments
(1 replies)
Im convinced the comment section is just Russian bots
It's all very on the nose, now that you mention it, but I guess I assumed the type of persom who would be posting comments on that article
load more comments
(2 replies)
Parents: can't be doing with all these Jews and blacks here!!
Fox: maybe your were just misunderstood
load more comments
(2 replies)
“Up next: Your liberal child has gone ‘no contact’ : How you are right and they are wrong”
I actually kind of thought my mom would go to therapy and try to reconnect so she could meet her biological grandson, instead she doubled down and got his mom to block her too. I really mourn her but she's not the person I knew at all, I guess that person slipped away, it sucks.
Sorry to hear that.
There is also another option: that she always was like that but you were blindfolded by love
See? It's a brain worm:
- abuses multiple "defects" in our wetware, to take the host over
- spreads on contact, except if prepared/hardened
Ya, MAGA is a mind virus (as in a set of memes that are deleterious to the body, i.e. the people). They projected virus status on wokeness.
I'm curious to know what they think parents should do next.
I'm certain it does not involve challenging your own preconceptions.
I'd bet 'grandparents rights' are part of it.
Edit: I have made a fool of myself. It's actually surprisingly reasonable.
Yeah, the advice looks to be surprisingly decent!
That comment section on the other hand definitely has a lot of people who've been cut off in it (or need to be)!
Over half the top comments definitely sound toxic
Also, bleakly laughing at the US section of topics at bottom of the page. So disconnected from reality.
Gotta keep their readers brainwashed and scared!
Now THAT'S what I would expect from Fox News minions.
Its really not.
Its just like, "try to listen."
Except the real solution they don't present is "maybe have introspection about how you became a hate monger Nazi from watching Fox News lies constantly and that might be why your child hates you."
Actually listening is the first step few take.
https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons/
Most cut off parents have been told repeatedly what they're doing wrong
"I really tell our parents … if you're 100% perfect, great … but most parents have done something wrong, something that they want to change. And if they want a relationship with their child, they are going to have to change some things."
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
ooh. Yeah ok of course. Is that a real thing ?
edit:
ok it is a real thing. I'm a parent. I'd never wondered about this because my relationship with my parents is ok. I mean they're nutty conservatives but they're smart enough not to say anything about it.
Setting aside cases of abuse and neglect. It's kind of weird to think that someone other than myself and my partner can have a say in who my child has to spend time with.
I think it would be an up-hill battle for my parents in my jurisdiction for example. I think they would need to establish that it's in the child's best interest to have a meaningful relationship with them, and they might struggle to do that.
Grandparents' rights are not what many people seem think they are. It's not a court ordering a couple to let estranged/toxic grandparents have access to their grandkids above the objections of the parents.
Rather, it is adjusting custody arrangements during separation/divorce so that grandparents can maintain an existing relationship wth their grandkids. For example, if a couple is separating and the mother gains primary custody, the father's parents can apply to get visitation rights with the kids. It's not automatic, as they would have to meet the burden of, "in the best interest of the children," to the satisfaction of the judge.
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, but this is my understanding of the issue from reading discussions and papers (including the one linked in another post in this thread).
load more comments
(2 replies)
Four provinces, Quebec, British Columbia, Alberta and New Brunswick, as well as Yukon, have legislation specifically providing for grandparent access. Other provincial legislation as well as the federal Divorce Act allow for access applications by people other than parents without explicitly mentioning grandparents.
US (also from the above link): Grandparents can petition for visitation but it had to be in the best interest of the child, i.e. established relationship plus other factors. "Fit" parents are generally given the right to decide.
Not sure about other places.
Four provinces, Quebec, British Columbia, Alberta and New Brunswick, as well as Yukon, have legislation specifically providing for grandparent access.
That's horrifying considering how many grandparents likely don't have access due to their own abusive or toxic personalities.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
For me it's more low contact. Stick to the basics so they know I'm still alive and vice versa. The second they veer off into ignorant propaganda bullshit it's an immediate "Whelp, I gotta run. Bye."
I listened to some of the most ridiculous mess over the years, including my own parents telling me what I think. I would dread phone calls and visits. I would feel so many bad things after spending time with them. And yet, I was a "good" person, turned the other cheek, still showed up, all because of a sense of responsibility.
It really dawned on me that this isn't all just in my head after I brought a really good friend of mine to a holiday meal one year. I never told him anything bad about my family and never gave my personal opinion about any of my family members except the good stuff. Always positive spin. On the way home, he very directly told me "Your step-dad is not a good person." I felt that way, yes, but I didn't know I was allowed to feel that way without shame, let alone tell anybody.
A few years later, another friend of mine said something along the lines of "I don't like the way it makes you feel when you visit your parents." He could sense the change of mood and inner turmoil, even though I did my best to hide it and pretend it didn't exist.
Final straw was really when I was told "we can't afford to pay for your job anymore" after my DOGE layoff instead of an "I'm sorry" or any sign of sympathy/empathy as I would expect from anybody who cared about me (let alone supposedly loved me) in this situation -- even if they did ultimately believe it was somehow justified. I was already teetering on the edge after the previous visit where I was told that Christians are the most persecuted group of people in America and I was wrong for disagreeing.
I have an old friend I've told all about my family. A few years ago we took a road trip and spent some time with them. My friend was unusually quiet for most of the visit.
On the way home he told me that even after all the years that I had been telling him about my family, he was flabbergasted by what utter assholes they were in person.
Malignant narcissists have no problem doing something miserable and then gaslighting about it shortly thereafter. It didn't work so well with a 3rd party present, and it really helped to get an outside observer's take on their bullshit.
That's rough.
load more comments
(1 replies)
My mother goes to therapy but just to rant about how my brother cut ties with her because he is hen-pecked by his wife and mother-in-law, while my therapist tricked me into thinking that I was abused both physically and psychologically.
The logical leaps they have to make to justify their warped world views are truly worthy of Olympic medals. How would you even trick someone into believing that they were physically abused? Physical abuse is, in most cases, pretty cut and dry. Sure some people might be wrong about the definitions, like proponents of spanking not viewing that as abusive, but that doesn't really change reality.
I suppose in situations where people have been worn down psychologically, getting them to recognise the physical abuse as abuse, and not justify the behaviour of their abuser is actually quite tough. I was that person too, and it's really only in recent years that I've by and large worked past it.
Couple of years back my mother sent me an email out of the blue, talking about how I'm miserable and blah-blah-blah. It came as news to me as I'd been having the best year of my life that far. The levels of projection were laughable. She finally clocked that when I cut contact, I cut contact. She moaned and wailed about how I was cold and abusive like my father, the same person I'd never met because she'd hid his existence from me, and lied about him to my face for 25 years.
Sorry to say, mother dearest; if I'm a monster, I'm a monster of your making. But most people actually find me quite pleasant.
How would you even trick someone into believing that they were physically abused?
Selectively focusing on past incidents where a parent was neglegent or forceful, then extrapolating some broad theory of hostile intent. Mischaracterizing social non-conformity with grooming or humiliation or violence. Straight up incepting false memories by insisting they occurred and you just forgot about them.
The Satanic Panic cases of the 80s was a good example of all of these in use. Young kids were then turned out to repeat lines they were trained to say, in order to press cases against their parents. And it took decades to undo the damage.
The irony is that these incidents were fully believed by future Fox News families. And they're part of what drove them insane
load more comments
(1 replies)
Penned this back in 2018. Proud to lead the charge. https://www.ianwelsh.net/shun-the-climate-change-deniers/
Therefore, if I continue to profess my love for both them, and my son, what does that make me? What does that make the man who professes that he is willing to go to any lengths to try and ensure that his son has a future that doesn’t read like a dystopian novel? A future wherein, my son doesn’t look at me and say “Daddy, why didn’t you do something???”
Powerful words. Excellent piece.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Ooh ooh I know the answer! Fix what they've already told you the problem is
A friend is on the verge of cutting her dad off and she's told him the problems so many times, but here he is, probably going to start problems at her wedding (he's already being a problem about it)
The article's not that bad, some folk aren't happy! 
Am I the only one where this has reversed?
- my boomer mother is very progressive, human oriented
- I as an X’er lean a little toward business
- my youngest zoomer is most conservative (realistically lack of experience)
We’re all very at home in a blue state so no real conflict, but I sometimes tease my youngest as a “the real boomer” about his leanings
my youngest zoomer is most conservative (realistically lack of experience)
I grew up in a place with a lot of libertarian ideas. Getting a real job undoes a lot.
That may even have just happened. This kid is in college talking about federal policy, international affairs or political law ……. But he’s spent this whole summer out of state as a camp counselor for children in need and is wondering if there is a major for “camp administration “. Leaning a little different is just an implication but it is implied
He gets back in a week and we’ll have a little time before he goes back to school so we’ll see
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I'm a very early Xer, and my kids are zoomers. We get along famously, making a point of meeting up for brunch or something weekly if possible. I help them, and they help me. We listen to each other, even if we just don't agree on some things. We had a rough patch when they were teen/early adults, but love prevailed. It's a question of love, respect and listening as much or more than talking. We all do volunteer stuff, are progressive, although they'll call me boomer to mess with me during some arguments. It's not all rainbows and unicorns, but the net result is positive. It really boils down to love, respect and being able to listen, and being able to agree to disagree. My sister and I keep tabs and help out our early boomer mother too, even though she can really get on our nerves, each in it's own way, so it may be that we keep healthy family traditions.
It may help that we live in a mediterranean society, where family ties are valued and respected.
We all do volunteer stuff, are progressive,
I imagine it has more to do with this than the Mediterranean thing.
Refusing to end support for open fascism is a line too far for many. Including myself. It sucks when you learn that they'd rather just not have a relationship with their son than reconsider.
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›