I lost some weight and did more exercise before and I'm very glad for it. I also did a lot of batch cooking with a friend so I have easy meals in the freezer. Your time in hospital will be uncomfortable but okay, you will have the right people and services at your fingertips. When you get home is when the work really starts. My days currently are all scheduled around 3 sessions of dilation and other aftercare. For the first few weeks you certainly want someone with you to do house chores and keep you from going mad while stuck in your house.
Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
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Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
Thank you for sharing! I have some friends offering to meal train for me and I may take them up on it. Others are willing to hang out so I'm sure it'll be nice to have some human contact and give my wife a break from doting on me for weeks on end lol I have actuay lost about 20lbs since starting hrt and I'm pretty active now. I definitely plan on going on more daily walks leading up though.
I really appreciate the tips :)
Yay!
NSFW
I had complications that made it a bit of a mess with nerves and clitoral necrosis, so not sure my girlfriend will ever be able to give me an orgasm ever again, but even with all of that, I still do not regret the decision to do it at all. I'm about 10 months post-op and getting some revision done in October to make penetration a little easier so we can use strapons on eachother and maybe even a double sided dildo some day which we both always wanted to try. So, still fun with sex stuff even if it doesn't involve full on orgasms for me.
Glad you were able to get a reasonable timeline. Things are so crazy backed up and so much gate keeping, that it's not an easy path to take despite the hate rhetoric. Make sure to take lots of time to rest after, it's going to be a long road for healing, but so worth it. And keep dilating 3 times a day as often as possible for as long as possible. One thing I did keep is a reasonable amount of depth, which can't be recovered, even if scar tissue made width an issue, but that hopefully will be better after revision.
Yea I had a mental breakdown when I was told it'd be 3 years. I'm glad that I was able to get myself together and figure out another option.
I can't wait to explore with my wife. We haven't had sex for over a year because my dysphoria became so bad. So literally any improvement whatsoever in that department will be welcome. We've also talked about and are super excited to try the same things you mentioned.
I hope your revision goes well! Thank you so much for commenting :)
Mine's in a little under a month, so the only thing I can say at this point is keep yourself busy and the time will pass before you know it. If you're anything like me you might start to worry that you stop feeling a sense of urgency about it (do I really want this?), but I think that's probably pretty normal.
Are you on top of hair removal? I know every surgeon has different guidelines, but mine has said it's not necessary and I'm pretty sure that's bullshit. Got my last (downstairs) session this week.
Are you on top of hair removal?
Nooooooo lmao my surgeon said it isn't needed, they cauterize the follicles during the surgery. They said the most I should ever notice is an occasional hair on the dilator but the get like at least 95% of the hair. I'm getting electrolysis on my face but my electrologist is around me so infrequently that it would take years to get the hair completely removed.
Congrats on getting to the t-minus 1 month mark! Keep me updated on how its going if you'd care to :)
Good luck Cily!
Damn girl, you just introduced yourself, would've thought that's farther away! Wish you all the best :). So happy it worked out for you, how does it feel to finally have the date? I'd hope it really takes a lot of the anxiety off :3.
I'd like to get it done next year, too, got a first appointment in a clinic in September, but gotta jump through some hoops before and am really panicking at times, getting scared something might get in my way.
Yeaaaaah I can't stay still very long lol really though, I've been researching bottom surgery for years, even before I knew I was going to transition. So after I got my fertility preservation and hormone therapy figured out, I knew that getting the ball (heh) rolling on it was going to be one of my big goals, along with finishing electrolysis and voice therapy. I'm going to be getting it like almost exactly on my 1st birHRTday but its just because I've already done so much legwork already.
It's been interesting how I've been feeling now that I have a date. I thought that maybe the dysphoria would alleviate knowing that there's an end to it, but that wasn't really the case. I'm a little worried that it'll actually just continue getting worse in the lead up. However, I feel much more settled in my identity and I'm actually pretty proud of myself for continuing to pursue it and advocate for myself. Like the imposter syndrome has almost disappeared.
I hope your appointment goes well and that your timeline works out!
I’m going to be getting it like almost exactly on my 1st birHRTday
Aww, that's so sweet :).
I thought that maybe the dysphoria would alleviate knowing that there’s an end to it, but that wasn’t really the case. I’m a little worried that it’ll actually just continue getting worse in the lead up.
Interesting indeed, that's a bit how I feel about my facial hair since I started laser. Still hate it of course, but knowing it'll be gone soon surely calmed me down a lot. Though, I read even post-op may need some time for it all to actually settle in, surely a very subjective experience. Feel free to keep us posted :3
I feel much more settled in my identity and I’m actually pretty proud of myself for continuing to pursue it and advocate for myself.
That's awesome! It really is an amazing feeling to take control of our journey, has been pretty euphoric here and there for me.
I hope your appointment goes well and that your timeline works out!
Well, I'll need a time machine for that, so not the best odds :3. Took me about 6 months to kinda finalize the decision that I want SRS, if I could have it my way I would've done it the next day.
Interesting indeed, that's a bit how I feel about my facial hair since I started laser. Still hate it of course, but knowing it'll be gone soon surely calmed me down a lot. Though, I read even post-op may need some time for it all to actually settle in, surely a very subjective experience. Feel free to keep us posted :3
Yea at least with my facial hair, I feel better each time I have an electrolysis session. I've definitely grown addicted to the results, even if it is slow going. I can only do 2 hours a month since my electrologist is only around for a week at a time each month. I'll definitely keep y'all updated, I'd like to do a total review of my overall experience at some point.
Well, I'll need a time machine for that, so not the best odds :3. Took me about 6 months to kinda finalize the decision that I want SRS, if I could have it my way I would've done it the next day.
Girl truuuu lol a time machine would do wonders! I had a viewpoint before I actually started transitioning where I was like "I know that if I ever do transition, I am absolutely getting bottom surgery". So it helped that the decision was pretty much already made. What did surprise me is that I was about 98% sure that I just wanted a minimal-depth procedure. But I was never able to feel 100% in that decision and because of that, I forced myself to reconsider my rationale and I realized that I was leaning more toward convenience rather than what I actually wanted. So I'm now getting PIV and I'm at 100% with it. In that way, I'm kinda thankful for my mental breakdown when I was looking at a 3 year wait since it forced me to think about alternatives.
I've strongly leaned towards it from the moment I came out to myself, never thought I shouldn't do it, but think I put the actual decision off a bit, because I knew I'd have to wait anyway. Had all these rationalizations, like, yeah sure it makes sense to have to wait for so long because it's such a big deal and there's no way back. For most of my life I just didn't allow myself to have wishes that I thought impossible (like being a girl in the first place).
But fuck that. I want it and I want it now, that's what it is. I've been fantasizing about this for years, way before I realized I'm trans. Hell, teen me even wondered if they'd be better in some way without that thing. Can't even say I'm 100% certain it's the right call, but I definitely don't want to spent the rest of my life wondering.
What did surprise me is that I was about 98% sure that I just wanted a minimal-depth procedure. But I was never able to feel 100% in that decision and because of that, I forced myself to reconsider my rationale and I realized that I was leaning more toward convenience rather than what I actually wanted.
Huh, that's the same reason why I considered minimal-depth... Can't say I'm super excited about having to dilate for the rest of my life or the infection risks, but I just hope it'll be worth it.
I’m kinda thankful for my mental breakdown when I was looking at a 3 year wait since it forced me to think about alternatives.
Wow, it brought the wait down ~2 years for you? Now I want a mental breakdown x).
Also wish hair removal would be faster, I'll be so darn happy when this is done. Chin hair is so stubborn, yikes.
Thanks for sharing, can't wait for your updates :)
But fuck that. I want it and I want it now, that's what it is. I've been fantasizing about this for years, way before I realized I'm trans.
For real. It may seem like I'm rushing through my transition and, from the outside perspective, that I'm being rash and not thinking things through. But in reality, these feelings have just been at critical mass for a long time, I just didnt say anything about it until now. So it sucks to be at the point where I need things to happen now but also need to wait for loved ones and the medical process to catch up.
Can't even say I'm 100% certain it's the right call, but I definitely don't want to spent the rest of my life wondering.
Inaction is still action. I know what that life is like and it doesn't work, so why sit stagnant in it when I could do something to maybe make life better.
Can't say I'm super excited about having to dilate for the rest of my life or the infection risks, but I just hope it'll be worth it.
Same. I just couldn't close off the possibility without experiencing it first. I don't want to disappoint myself later on because I cannot satisfy cravings that I could have because my anatomy doesn't allow for it. And to have that due to a choice I made would probably induce a different type of dysphoria.
Wow, it brought the wait down ~2 years for you? Now I want a mental breakdown x).
Yea super fun, highly recommend... Lmao I am thankful that transitioning unlocked this sassy, spicy, bitchy side of me that helps propel my self advocacy. Not getting surgery this winter was not going ti be an option with the plans my wife and I have made moving forward. So I'm so psyched that I was able to find an alternative who is reputable, experienced, and comfortable.
It may seem like I’m rushing through my transition and, from the outside perspective, that I’m being rash and not thinking things through. But in reality, these feelings have just been at critical mass for a long time, I just didnt say anything about it until now.
Yeah, think that's the same for me. At the start there may even have been some truth to it, like I was so eager to get into the permanent changes that I'd get that sunken cost fallacy going and wouldn't think about chickening out. The typical cis urge to get irreversibly changed to the opposite gender and then having to live with it, huh 😅.
But well, I was insanely good at repressing these feelings, even though they've been there for a very long time. Now I've been on this journey for more than 6 months now and haven't really thought about stopping for a single second.
Lmao I am thankful that transitioning unlocked this sassy, spicy, bitchy side of me that helps propel my self advocacy.
Awwww giiiiirl, I couldn't have dreamt of the confidence I got from finding my true self, it's really insane, isn't it? <3
I'm psyched for you too! And jealous, ofc :3
You go queen! So happy for you Cily
Thank you!!! 💜