this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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All I'm reading about lately is share market stability woes. I am thinking it's worth converting my superannuation into a self-managed Timtam stack, or finding a fund that does that for me (FirstCrumbSuper?).

Timtams are at a minimum at the moment (I've seen them at $3 a packet at Kfart, BALDI and Woolwarts). Liquidity is not a concern, UHT milk is a thing. There is no way I can lose.

Todo: check back on 2027-02-01 and 2027-08-01 to see if malted or crumbled.

Unrelated: if I suddenly need to offload a lot of chocolate biscuits in 2027 will you guys help bail me out?

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[–] maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Gluten free timtams is better bang for your bucks.

[–] WaterWaiver@aussie.zone 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hmm. I think you're trying to lead me into niche investments!

What are they like? Texture & flavour similar, or completely different?

[–] maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone 0 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Similar. I've only had them a few times when I bought them as a gift for my partner. We don't buy timtams or milk chocolate that often. I don't know if I'd better able to tell them apart with a blind taste test. The texture may be slightly different. I'm also confused about the whole timtam fandom, seems to be one of the greatest marketing achievements in my lifetime.

[–] WaterWaiver@aussie.zone 0 points 2 weeks ago

TBH they changed the recipe a few years back and now taste far worse. But my brain has already been corrupted by the fandom, so I continue to use timtams as a way of visualising how much money I'm spending. $170 flight? That's 510 timtams! Almost 2 a day for an entire year.

Look in all seriousness, you have to consider the medium to long term effects of climate change on the chocolate industry and how thats going to affect the marketability of TimTams in the future. I would say the chocolate content of Timtams puts these biscuits into the medium risk category.


There are a couple strategies I'd suggest First Crumb Super consider implementing,

  • The Family Favourites Index

A diversified index tracking the current selection of family favourites. As a biscuit drops out of the family favourites, that money is reallocated to the remaining family favourites biscuits.

  • Monte Carlo Simulations

This is a high risk random sampling strategy, that may indicate such risky investment allocations into Wagon Wheels or Meiji Hello Pandas, or to such safe options as Monte Carlos themselves. This method may seem counter-intuitive but the method's randomness can simulate the randomness of our world quite well, and may pay off with significant returns.

And finally,

  • The Braveheart Method

Probably the most high risk strategy, but has monopolisation potential. This strategy calls upon the historic role Scotland has played in both biscuits and economics. Over leverage on, and attempt a hostile, and very snackable, takeover of the shortbread market. I'm talking Walkers, I'm talking Arnotts Scotch fingers, even Black and Gold Scotchies. If theres Tartan on that package, its a Buy! Buy! Buy!