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For a server like this 4GB of DDR4 is enough. And that is cheap still.
Possibly, but it's going to have issues. Immich can run on 4GB if you disable machine learning features for image recognition and such. And Jellyfin can run on a minimal system with 4GB if you have a graphics card, but with integrated graphics likely to be in a sub-$300 system the recommend 8GB. And graphics cards are still expensive even after the crypto craze has settled because LLMs benefit but also because of the artificial memory shortages they've created. Running both might work if you set a lot of virtual memory and never have them operating at the same time so it's not swapping constantly. And that's not leaving room for the other stuff. I'd say you could squeak by with 16GB, but that's going to be most of the budget even for low-end, off brand sticks that are available right now.
Not with TrueNAS, ZFS is a RAM hog. They suggest 8gb minimum, and you really don't want the minimum AND adding more stuff on top. That said 16gb isn't too painful.