Flippanarchy

Page 1

Panel 1
A sailing ship named "ROBESPIERRE" at sea.

Panel 2
Rosa Luxemburg is at the ship's wheel, yelling at Karl Marx who is slumped on the deck.

Rosa: We've hit a reef Marx! Weren't you supposed to be steering? We are going down!
Marx: What?

Panel 3
The ship is sinking.

Rosa: ABANDON SHIP—
Marx: (interrupting) SAVE THE BRANDY!

Panel 4
The wrecked ship, mast sticking out of the water near a desert island.

Panel 5
Marx and Rosa washed up on the beach. Marx is holding the brandy bottle.

Rosa: Whew, we survived.
Marx: And more importantly, we saved the brandy.

Panel 6
Two strangers approach them on the beach.

Stranger: Hello! Welcome to Liberty Island.

Panel 7
Ayn Rand and Murray Rothbard introduce themselves.

Rand: I'm Ayn Rand, and this is Murray Rothbard. We shipwrecked here fifteen years ago, and we've used that chance to build a society that is completely free.

Panel 8

Rosa: Oh, uh...that's good I guess. I'm Rosa Luxemburg, and this is Karl Marx. What do you guys do for food?
Rothbard: There are two sources of food on the island: coconuts and fish.

Page 2

Panel 1

Marx: Well, coconuts go better with rum than brandy, but let's give it a try.
Rosa: Right...so, we'd thought we'd freely go get some coconuts.
Rothbard: Whoa whoa, not so fast there. Don't you remember, this is LIBERTY island, that means you are free to do whatever you want.

Panel 2

Rand: Don't you know anything about freedom? We mean that you can do whatever you want with your property.
Rothbard: Those coconut trees belong to me.

Panel 3

Rosa: Oh, I guess it is fishing then.
Rothbard: Actually the ocean belongs to me.

Panel 4

Rosa: THE OCEAN?!

Panel 5

Rothbard: All ocean within five miles of the island. We came to an agreement to divide it up that way fifteen years ago. With freedom.

Panel 6

Rothbard: Everything that happens on the island is from voluntary transactions, and free market capitalism.
Rand: So, while you can't steal our coconuts or fish, we can certainly offer you a job.

Panel 7

Rand: You climb the trees and gather coconuts, and you get to keep twenty percent of them, the other eighty percent goes to me.
Rosa: Twenty percent? That's outrageous!
Rand: Well, those are the conditions that the free market bears, I don't know what to tell you.

Page 3

Panel 1

Rothbard: But hold on! If you want to fish for Rothbard's Fishing Depot I will give you a much more generous twenty two percent of all the fish that you catch.

Panel 2

Rosa: And if we don't want to do either of those things?
Rand: See, this is the beauty of the free market, competition ensures the best result for everyone.

Panel 3

Rand: Well, seeing as you don't have any property, you are free to starve if you want. Again, this is Liberty Island, so there are no restrictions on your actions.

Panel 4

Rosa: Okay, I guess we'll be fishermen.
Rothbard: Oh great. Since Rand owns all the wood on the island, you'll have to buy your fishing spears from her.
Rand: Since the only thing you have is Brandy, I'll trade for that.

Panel 5

Rosa: Actually, I think we will harvest coconuts.
Rothbard: Okay, but you'll need a rope to climb the trees, and Rothbard owns all the rope.
Rand: I, also, am willing to trade for the brandy.

Panel 6
Marx raises his fist dramatically.

Marx: COMMUNIST REVOLUTION!

Panel 7

Rand: What?
Marx: We are doing a communist revolution. It means the private property is publicly owned, so we all have access to the coconuts and fish.

Panel 8
Marx puts his arm around Rothbard, still holding the brandy bottle.

Rothbard: And what about the brandy? Is that public too?
Marx: Rothbard, allow me to explain the difference between personal property, and private property...