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The book is Strong Female Character by Fern Brady. There have been several occasions in the past year where friends have asked me if I was autistic and my answer was typically, "probably not." I knew I shared certain traits with autistic friends but I thought it had to do with my anxiety problems.
For me lurking on ADHD sub-reddits. I noticed a few people were giving advice that worked so well or made so much sense, that I looked at their profiles and saw they were heavy in autism communities.
Then I watched this 5 minute video and cried for 3 hours at how fucking seen I felt. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTzUbe5hoI8
For me it was Look Me In The Eye by John Elder Robinson:
He led a very different life from me and yet I related to aspects pretty easily.
Fern Brady was such an awesome contestant on Taskmaster. Crazy accent I gotta say though. Might have to check out the book.
I made one autistic friend with a sensitivity profile similar to my own, then lived with a father & daughter (both diagnosed) with a very different profile to my own, and thru that realized that in certain ways, all of us were like peas in a pod. And then I realized many of my friends are in the same orbit.
I keep having this feeling of “this ADHD/autism/asshole thing is so relatable” and dreading the day I finally spin the wheel and see where I actually land.
It can be hard, for me just hearing someone read so many descriptions of my inner-workings made me feel the full spectrum; "finally an answer", "how did I miss this?", "would life have made more sense?", "is this a disability?"
There are many parts though that were comforting. In my work-role, 2 people are neurodiverse (a term I am still working through). The struggles we shared were obvious from the get go. Eventually I recognized that we were all also very good at this specific role. I think the bulk of the office just thinks we are quirky people who love this work (I don't).
Not that we are the best or have "super-powers". However, the pattern-matching, drive associated with novelty and urgency, being able to hear every sound in the world. A lot of the things that seem to only be impediments for a happy life have also in hindsight been strengths without which I can't image getting to where I am, even if I am not anywhere particularly spectacular.
Several friends are neuro-spicy. Describing my perspective of things often got a response of how that similar to masking behaviors, or just outright "one of us." But of course i was like, no everyone's like that. Then i started going to therapy for other reasons, and therapist is like, "you have a lot of markers for adult add, would you like to do an assessment?" Yall ive been rawdogging add my whole life.
This similar loop for me also led to something I had been overlooking; interacting with "my people" was more than just relaxing a mask, I was missing how restorative it was to interact with them.
I know I blurt things out and interrupt and have built procedures to moderate that. Then when I see a specific sibling and we both get so excited we are almost shouting, interrupting one another, and finishing each-others sentences it feels good to be able to live life for that moment in my "natural state".