this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2026
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I understand how letter combinations in french are hard to get at first and there are sometimes many ways to write a sound, but once you learn them you will always know how a new word is pronounced. English is such a joke of a language that you never know how a word is pronounced until you hear it or you happen to know its ethymology...
So what you gotta do is settle the island with a bunch of Germans, then get conquered some centuries later by the French. Steal all the vocabulary from French - especially the vocabulary of the nobility - but keep the German grammar. Then just for fun when you are about to standardize your spelling with the invention of the printing press import a bunch of Dutch people to do your spelling for you
Don’t forget getting converted by St. Augustine bringing Latin and Greek words!
And who could forget grabbing all available loanwords from The Colonies
Insert booze at every step.
The limeys need their grog or its mutiny
While every other country has their wines
The English are rarely accused of culinary greatness