whereitsat

i remember the great plastic transition of 1995. on the trek though GRAND UNION to buy macaroni salad ingredients and store brand chips, i asked my mom why there were so many plastic bottles, and she replied 'we're like pioneers' and she referenced little house on the prairie, and i still didn't understand what she was getting at, so she slapped some sense into me right in aisle 13 and i pretended i understood so she'd leave me alone for five minutes.

a few weeks ago my MD said that i have colon cancer and i assume that's from pounding cases of fruitopia when it was in vogue but who am i gonna sue? is big plastic a thing?

i tried to tell my mom it was her fault but when i tried to call all i heard was a dial tone. i thought that was weird at the time because cell-phones don't have dial tones but my therapist said i was hallucinating; she still won't prescribe me xanax.

pour one out for the US postal worker.

the postal worker used to have an important job, maybe the most important job--acting as the gateway between your inner world and the outer world. a job since delegated to your email inbox.

they delivered the correspondence between yourself and your loved ones and your penpals; they delivered the catalogs that met your sartorial needs--macy's, sears or delia's, and these glossy pages had you covered no matter your demographic, style, income. you were just a lookbook away from the perfect picturesque christmas or the perfect gift to meet any need. if you wanted something more niche, you were always a delivery away from gratification, after sending out a request from the backpages of SPIN, TV guide or glamour. i became a minister through the US postal service; i bought my first KMFDM album through the pages of industrial nation--fuck youtube.

the mail is a flaccid shadow of its former self, and these rugged, short-short clad adventurers serve no purpose other than to deliver bank statements and montgomery ward catalogs to boomers, who don't realize that the company is no longer the proud, stalwart that used to anchor shopping malls and sell you high-quality goods at reasonable prices and has instead transformed into a private equity scam that preys on citizens with bad credit; when their house burns down becaue of the budget space heater they bought they still won't get the memo that shit sucks. they won't connect all these dots. but i do.

last week i gave my mailman a blowjob and i'm proud of it.

why is her outfit 'sexualizing' anyway?

even if her outfit didn't suggest 'panties' it'd still be sexy because it accentuates her form.

the actress is probably 35, who cares who the character is aimed at. it's normal for men to see an attractive woman and be like 'wow she's attractive.'

you're pathologizing normal thinking and probably feeling incredibly satisfied with your lame response because you used the word 'teenage' and nobody would dare to cross swords.

grow up.

porn in america is hyper-aggressive and focused on penetration. there's no eroticism to it. it's crass and disgusting.

there's something to putting on a 90s skinemax film and seeing hot milfs wearing sexy, satin nighties tenderly riding men on a real bed in a real bedroom, instead of watching giant, unearthly cocks penetrating gaping vaginas in extreme close-up.

what a boneheaded take out of the OP.

there's a HUGE difference between what porn is selling and what turns you on.

it's worse than that. he sounds like every insecure, self-aggrandizing, semi-handicapped 20 year old who ever worked a bottle return at a supermarket.

he's a man that NOBODY would ever pay attention to if he weren't rich.

would be have any kind of internet following if he was joe blow instead of elon musk? fucking nope.

why is the focus always on the men?

that woman willingly slept with that dude and then posed with him.

wouldn't you rather just work at a pizza hut than lay down in a bed with that guy every night? like, imagine showing up with that dude at the country club or a restaurant with $200 pasta. that's more embarrassing than being poor--it's admitting that you're so gross that no hot or mediocre rich guy would fuck you.

i need AI to tell me how to make fried chicken because i'm too stupid to read a recipe, and did i also tell you at some point that i have a masters degree in chemical engineering and i create new flavor sensations for nabisco? keep it a secret.

don't tell anyone what i'm about to reveal in this post, but teddy grahams are about to make a comeback and unleash some wild flavors like cinnamon/vanilla/sriracha. you may scoff at that combo and think to yourself 'that doesn't work' but we tested it out on starving children in the Philippines and they all loved it. we're infusing them with protein, 28g per serving and this is with less than 200 calories. don't ask me how we did that because i signed an NDA.

why do all nepo babies look the same?

do they inbreed? or is it just from impregnating eastern european nepo brides?

all the anti-men shit is annoying because it's not just dragging men but holding women up on some pedestal that they don't deserve to be on. yeah, we fucking get it already--men suck. women are awful too.

it's all just internet posturing anyway. i've been alive long enough to know that women act exactly the same as they did 25 years ago. they talk hard online but IRL they'll still hook up with a raunchy, abusive man just because he has a good job lol.

market research firm lol. get a real job.

If I came from a wealthier family and went to private schools and all that I'd probably be an editor for Vogue and be a psychopath like Patrick Bateman. They just self-own when they ask a stupid question like this because they have no self-awareness or intelligence. I've never met anyone IRL who made more than 100k a year that wasn't an asshole. They don't kill people but they wouldn't put up a protest if it happened and they see the rest of us as vermin.